Wednesday, October 03, 2007


Oh yeah. That's the question I had to answer today.


Whatever happened to just picking your kids up from their so expensive you could remodel the kitchen with the tuition money school?

Enter ex-Dallas cowboy cheerleader this fact has no bearing on the story, but is just sort of interesting in a way... I mean, she is in her forties and it is the very first thing I learned about her.

And current mother of fellow students and sort of new friend to a friend of mine, a friend, I might add, that just might be getting her ass kicked tomorrow morning over a Decaf Venti Sugar Free Vanilla Skim Latte.

And since we're all just being chummy and getting to know each other in the painful and rather brightly sincere way that women have with each other, we are talking about what we do...

So, I say, "Nothing. I don't do much of anything." as this is what I say when: A) I don't want to talk about myself because, B) I don't care enough about the person with whom I am talking to invest much in the conversation.

I know. Hostile!

But, my girlfriend pipes up with, "You do SO much! AND, she writes this really great blog!"

Blog? Que, "blog"?

You can see the wheels spinning in her pretty blonde head.



And really, I don't know... am I?

Yes, I am a mom.

Yes, I blog.

But, does the term "mommy blogger" mean I only blog about my kids and lead in toys?

I realize that this subject has been done to death amongst the Interwebs, but for whatever reason, probably because I am shallow, I have yet to give it much thought.
"Mommy Blogger" sounds sort of painful... like detailed accounts of weaning and sentences that are along the lines of, "Lindsey-Britney just loves her blankie from Nana!" Not there is anything wrong with Lindsey-Britney or her blanket or her Nana, and truth be told, my last post was simply about my daughter needing to go #2... so, yes, on that level I am what I have always thought a Mommy Blogger should and would be.

But, then again I have posted about my insecurities, my extraordinary ability to make an ass out of myself, people who hate me and why I am all for gay marriage. Do these topics make me more or less a mommy blogger?

Why do those 2 words make me feel defensive?

I want to say, "I am a mommy blogger and I am pretty damn interesting at times and other times I am very very dull so I take the easy way out and post photos of my cute children."

But, I don't.

Instead I tell this Amazonian ex-cheerleader of a woman that, "Yes, I guess you could call me that."

And you know what?

Bitch didn't even ask for my URL.


So, how about you? How do you define your blogging existence?

and looky here... the skin of doom is looking less leopard-y and mo' better.
also, maybe time to learn the art of the self portrait, no?


Susu said...

Geez, it's about time you update your blog! Or, should I say your MOMMY BLOG? I am a blog reader and not a blogger, but I understand where the term MB could sound condescending and too cute to describe just what you and a lot of other mothers are contributing.

Gracencameronsmomy said...

I am not sure what to call my's msotly just for family and friends to keep up with us...not funny, like yours! But I think "momy blogger" is a compliment. All the ones I raead are so funny...

carrie said...

It's like someone saying, "oh you're JUST a mom". Somehow it is like fingernails scratching across the chalkboard.

Your forehead looks so new, and pretty! :) See? No sweat sister!

i-Con said...

My blogging existence is going to be defined by the girth of my ass if I don't stop clicking through bloglines as much as I do ;0)

You rook mahvuhlus by the way.

wzgirl said...

Creative Outlet. Mostly I'm in the closet, though, b/c I'm shy. But the other morning at BDay DimSum 10 of my nearest & dearest teased my by asking "so where is your camera? Aren't you going to be taking pic-tures of all this great food? And, ahem, of us?"

Jodi said...

Okay, that Amazon cheerleader has no idea about how fabulous you are. I adore your blog. Hell, you don't look old enough to be a mama let alone be a mommy blogger! :)

I consider my blog a very boring online diary. That I give permission for people to read. People I may add whom I have never met, probably will never meet, but love anyway. And these same stranger/friend people whom I allow to read my innermost thoughts and comment on said thoughts are very near and dear to my heart. So, Amazon cheerleader woman better watch her back, cuz I'll slip some whole milk into her latte if she isn't nice to you!

Oh, The Joys said...

I don't really mind the term mommy blogger. Yup. I'm a mom. I blog. I don't only write about my kids, but being a mom is now a big part of my identity so... whatever.

Tuesday Girl said...

I am with you, I do not want to be called a mommy blogger, but I guess that is the category I fit in, even though I do not talk about my kids all that much.

You are a hot mama!

Anonymous said...

Personally, I find the term flattering.

CDPJ said...

I have a half written post on a very similar topic, prompted by a rash of posts I've seen on various collective sites ruing the fact that presidential candidates aren't paying attention to mommy bloggers, that they/we are the new Soccer Moms. It just makes me cringe!! I did not have kids when the Soccer Mom voting block was in vogue, so I was safe from that label, but I'm pretty sure I never would have walked around calling myself a Soccer Mom and expecting any kind of special treatment or attention because of it. Why does the mommy tag have to be such a prominent part of how certain women of a certain age are characterized!??!

Mamma said...

I have a love/hate relationship with the term.

Today's reaction is:

Hell yeah I'm a mommyblogger! And you better get to know some of us, because then you'd realize what a force we are--when we aren't exhausted.

Pattie said...

Wow, I can't believe she didn't ask for the URL...may be she was insulted you didn't ask her for an autograph? *LOL*

Phoenix said... clue what to call my blog. Not even quite sure why I bother.

Figure that, if the first thing she told you was something she no longer does, than you have a WAY cooler life than she does now.

Perrin said...

ehhh, yes too label"y". And too overdone.

But gees did not ask for the URL...cheer girl doesn't know what the hell she's missing.

I must admit I've had similar circumstances where friend A will say something flattering about blog and another friend or aquaintance will glaze over.. I pipe down and slink off. Ahhhh, well.

Sarah O. said...

Mommy Blogger sounds so frivolous and inconsequential but Mother Blogger sounds slightly obscene...Family Blogger sounds so Readers Digest...How about Internet Journalist Who Just Happens to Write About Her Kids?

Too long you say?

kris said...

Well, whatever you call yourself, you effing rock.

Love the fear in your eyes as you captured yourself in the mirror. You'd get picked for another round on America's Next Top Model fo sho.

Lena said...

My neighbor asked for my URL the other night. Kill me now. Hi my name is Lena and here are ALLLLL my financial issues and daddy issues and marriage issues. And also my ass.

Nice to meet you.

From now on, we should all say we do web editing. No one knows what the hell it means and it sounds boring. Perfect.


Where should we go for lunch? Javier's?

Recovering Wino said...

What is it with those ex-cheerleaders? I met one from the Oakland Raiders one time, and that is all she could talk about...her time with them.

Yeah, I don't like the term mommy blogger, either. But then, I'm embarrassed to admit publicly that I blog at all. Maybe it is because I am in my thirties, but "blog" just sounds like I have too much time on my hands.

Amy York said...

Totally get this... I think we are Everything Bloggers. Er... almost everything (my grandpa reads mine occasionally, afterall ~ some things should be kept sacred I s'pose).

Gen said...

I reacted to the term "mommy blogger" the same way you did. That's like "soccer mom". Kinda puts you in s stepford wife-like category or even worse, it's a f-ing label.

However, it is a heck of a lot better than aging has-been cheeleader who can't get over who she used to be ;)

And you are looking fabulous by the way - for a brief second, you had me worried!

jennie said...

I react to the word "mommyblogger" in the same way that I react to "playdate". Like, why does it have to be called THAT. Why does it have to become a THING instead of just something we do? It makes very little sense, even to me. All I know is that whenever I hear or read either word, I react like I just tasted venom.

Very rational, huh?

Becky said...

i totally do NOT consider myself a mommy blogger even though i am a mom and i blog! because its not all i blog about! plus i have one too many drunken pic of me in my blog for the mommy blogger types, i think :) i dont consider you a mommy blogger either!

Jenny said...

OY. I am soo a mommy blogger. Don't have the brain to write anything meaningful.

I wouldn't call you a mommy blogger.

Jennifer said...

Well, maybe she didn't ask for your URL because she doesn't read. At all.

As for "mommy blogger," I cringe when someone refers to me as one and I don't use that term to describe other people. There's something about it that just doesn't sit right with me.

Kristin said...

I think I am going with Lena's web editor.

Makes it sound as though I am tech-y.

Jill said...

How about this. The October Vanity Fair has a little feature on p. 318 called "Know your Asshole Footprint" One of the things listed is: "If you have young children, have you launched a blog about raising them?"

Gulp. I guess that makes me a mommy blogger AND an asshole. Oh well.

Daniella said...

I don't know why but the term "Mommy Blogger" just makes me laugh. It could be the few glasses of wine I had tonight :)
But seriously, "mommy blogger" come on now. It just sounds weird.

dgm said...

FWIW, the cheerleader might not have any idea about the wealth of great material found in blogs generally, and yours in particular. I'm always surprised to meet people my age who only go online to buy something from amazon or to do a google search--they have no clue about the world of blogs. I'm also reluctant to tell acquaintances about my blog because I realize that if I write about them, they may discover it someday.

Most of the parents at my daughters school have no idea and that's good, because damn, there's a lot of material there. I'm sure you will find plenty of fodder among the private school parents. And it won't be pretty.

S. said...

Too funny about the URL. You have some very cool readers and commenters too. They have it pretty well covered. I am ambivalent about the label mommy blogger. And the only other one of my IRL friends who blogs is Kim.

Amanda said...

"Bitch didn't even ask for my URL..." It's this kind of writing that elevates you from mommy blogger to something vastly more edible, nourishing a part of me that makes the denim clad jumper set wrinkle their prissy noses. Rock on, mama, rock on.

Lisa said...

Isn't it funny? Ms. Cheerleader's all about what she USED to do.

When I've told a few of the chicks in our 'hood that I have a blog, they're like, "Whu?" They seem to think its just some online private diary. They don't ask for my url either. (Does that mean they don't care enough to visit or is that good because you still have some privacy?)

But I just tell people I blog and then mention "I have a website where I talk about parenting, marriage, products and pets." In thinking about this... I guess my description bores the hell out of them. SO they don't ask any follow-up questions.... Go figure. :-)

Scribbit said...

At first I really cared about what other people thought about the whole "momblog" thing and then I realized that the only opinions I actually cared about were other people with similar tastes--other mombloggers. it helps that my husband thinks the blogging is cool :)

ANd yes, you do have a "really great blog" Better than any stupid cheerleading thing :)

rubyiscoming said...

hahahaha, personally I do NOT think of you as a "mommy blogger" because that would imply you wear "mom jeans" and frankly, I just know you gots way mo' style than THAT! peace out

Los said...

I wouldn't pigeon-hole you as a mommy-blogger. You are far more diverse than that, sister!

slackermommy said...

When I started my blog a year ago I didn't think about any of this. I came up with my name after joking with my sis. I didn't give any thought to how I would be perceived or that what I write would become so important. So I've got this mommy blog name but yet I write about way more than my kids. I consider myself the unconventional mommy blogger. I write about sex, plastic surgery, my toxic parents, how obnoxious my kids are, that I don't breed well, being a good enough mom, trash t.v., and poke fun at myself.

If you ask me, your friend is missing out because mommy blogging is where it's at!

Jenny said...

I'm a life blogger. Our blog is even in the Life section of the Chronicle.

Just because it has "Mama" in the title doesn't mean anything.

Well, okay it means *something*.

But it doesn't mean everything.

Catharine said...

Just tell me which Starbucks, and I'll come hold her while you hit her. Seriously. I'm livid for you. And for me. And for every mom I know who blogs.

My experience has been slightly different, since I started as a political blogger (on Catharine Chronicles), and only started doing the personal blog (Naked Voodoo Chicken Dance) later. I have blogged about personal issues on the Chron, and expressed strong political views on the Chicken, but I was never classed (rudely and unfairly, I might add) as a "Mommy Blogger." But the truth is, I've written about my daughter at length. I've also written at length about my experiences as a sister, as a student, as a writer, as a daughter... so what am I, exactly?

I'm a Left-Wing-Borderline-Socialist-Daughter-Sister-Student-Mommy Blogger. Too long? Feel free to shorten it. Ooo... wait! How 'bout Commie Mommy Bloggy Sister Girl. (Oh, my gosh, I'm feeling another blog title coming on!)

Here's what I think (and I realize that I'm hardly impartial here, but so what!)... I think that the ordinary abhors the extraordinary. I believe that being able to put into writing deeply felt emotions and deeply personal experiences (like infertility, fertility, adoption and motherhood) require an extraordinary heart and mind. Not everyone can do it. And those who can't -- either because they lack the facility to construct it or the courage to even attempt it -- will do whatever they have to minimize and trash what we do on a daily or weekly (or, lately for me, monthly) basis.

These people must be ignored at all costs. They will never understand what goes on here on this little cyberpages every day. We have invited them to the party -- they've dismissed our invitation. Fine.

Not that I hold any strong opinions about this or anything.

But, no... really... which Starbucks... cuz... okay?


Modified Mummy said...

I don't tell most people that I blog. I mostly just say I have 'a website', and that's enough for them. As one of just three houses in my neighbourhood with an internet connection, most of those around me are mystified by such terms are url/blog/etc.

I suppose I'm a 'mummy blogger' too, expect I'm a mummy blogger that talks about body modifications and needles and stuff more than my kids.


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