Dear Reader (You Know Who You Are)

Email is one of those things that while simplifying our lives to a great extent...  also suffers from the "Lost in Translation" syndrome.  Statements that were perhaps not meant to be, come across as extremely hostile, nosy, or even cruel.

This is not an adoption blog.  This is barely a "mommy blog" unless you are supremely literal and then you may consider that I am a mom and I blog.  This is a space to be, at various times, stupid, honest, perhaps amusing, and/or rarely interesting.

Typically my blogging reflects the day to day minutia of my life... the struggles and the funny of a very ordinary life.  I am not out to conquer the Internet nor do I feel that I have "any responsibility to the adoption community in terms of content."

There are many (MANY) adoption focused blogs out there... some are listed in the second half of my blogroll... these are the blogs which focus on the decision, paperchase, wait, referral, travel, adjustment and new lives as families... they are tender and hopeful and I enjoy following them... it's a privilege to be allowed into someone's life... to be a given a small slice of their greatest desire.  These blogs help sustain those waiting, they inspire those wondering and they comfort those struggling... 

This is not that blog.

I realize that our family is, to use your word, blessed.  But my job is not to show my family to you, or anyone else, as Exhibit A : "Why You Should Adopt".  

Why I don't post more about adoption?  Quite frankly, I don't think about it.  My day does not revolve around the fact that my daughter was born in China.  It does revolve around laundry, wine, flea control in the summer months, and Trader Joes.  

We are not victimized by racism, rudely approached on street corners, shunned by our family or misunderstood by our community.

I have been to a couple of "Chinese-y" type group events and I left them both before they were over... to sit in a room with a group of strangers and focus on the issues and problems that I am not experiencing seems to me to be a supreme waste of time... I could sit there and make lists about all the potential things I need to look out for, but I prefer to be surprised.

The best advice I have received as far as raising my daughter came from the mother of a now 20 something daughter who was born in Korea.  She told me, Make sure Eva has some good friends who have her same beginning... because when Nikki struggled with adoption/birth family issues, the only people who really helped her were those girls who "knew" what she was going through... I was there for love and support, but they were there for understanding.

Second best piece of advice is from a dear friend who was adopted as an infant - Send her to me, I'll help her... it's not about understanding, it's about acceptance.

So while I guess (ok, not really) I can appreciate your "concern" about my "lack of honesty" about being a "bi-racial" family, I just want to go ahead and tell you - don't worry about it.  We're good.

Eva's good.

And I think we're just both going to have to realize that "although you like my writing" this isn't the blog for you.  

Monday Morning Drive-By

**edited 9/18 to add...**
holy mother of everything... it's been 3 friggin' days and the skin, despite hugh's assurance that it looks better actually still is crap-a-licious! DELIGHTFUL!

<-- so this is how i am now wearing my hair.



* Appropriate Adoption Dialogue - or, the conversation I did not have with Miss Jodi, aka Eva's new teacher.

Apparently, good adoptive parents chat with the teacher before the school year and discuss the correct way to handle any inquisitive little children type questions about my child's "Chinese-ness" vs. my "Honky-ness".

Now truthfully, this never occurred to me. I figured if some kid said something Eva would answer him and that would be the end of it because let's be real... kids are way more into finger paint and toy kitchens than they are into ethnicity.

Also, aren't teachers smart? I mean, if I were a teacher I wouldn't need a mom telling me to say, "Adoption is a way to be a family". I could probably figure that on my own.

However, I am now obsessing about this so let me know what you think, or if you are also an adopt-y type person, tell me what you did. Teachers?

let me say that nothing has happened... I was just saying that I felt, in case someone had a question, that Eva's teacher would be able to handle it... but I wanted to know if I am the only adoptive parent to take this hands off approach?

* The lasering of my face - honest to goodness I apparently cannot stop f@cking with my face. First the botox, now the laser.

The lasering of the face is the result of years (YEARS!) of a bubble headed mentality which went something like, I-don't-burn-pass-the-factor-4-lotion please. Also, I was a teen in the 80's and I blame that whole decade for a lot of poor choices.

But holy shit - this summer, out of nowhere and seriously, I have worn sunblock religiously for years now, I get this sort of dark area on my forehead. And it is kind of big and I realize that it is not going away and I am wearing concealer daily and every time I turn on the damn TV that Oil of Olay commercial is reminding me that dark spots are what "age a woman most" and yes, I am 38 but I am not dead and do not like looking like an old spotty crone.

So on Friday, after lunch with Shelley, aka Slinky Malinky Skinny Pants, I smear numbing cream all over my face and whoops! Got the upper lip there... and drive to the dermatologist where I voluntarily have the every loving hell zapped out of my face.

And you know this statement, "It's going to look worse before it looks better"? Well that is now known as the understatement of the year because I am terrifying to view. The process has brought up every single future melasma spot... what used to be a slightly different toned area is now super dark and a mess and I look approximately eleventy billion times worse than before. And I will look this way for another 2 or 3 days.

me = ugly.



in case you thought I was exaggerating... hello? bangs maybe?

And Finally -

*Charming and Delightful blogger, Jill, gave me this -

“This award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you’ve been awarded please pass it on to 7 others who you feel are deserving of this award."

Which clearly means the check cleared.

No, I jest! See, I'm funny and nice! Should I be worried that Hugh said, "Nice? Hmmm." Oh Hugh, you jest too! We're all funny in the house of Fun and Games.

But, I love Jill ... almost as much as I love her post on "personal massagers".

Seven other bloggers... look for an email.