Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Don't Bite The Hand That Feeds You...

or the arm of the little girl who has a mother who might slap the taste right out of your mouth.

Here's what happened... I was talking to Eva's preschool teacher about her (the teacher) husband who has left her because he has realized that he is transgendered and is now living as a woman in lycra pants and bangles and carrying a purse and trying to tell her where the best new place in town is for manicures when I heard the very distinct sound of my daughter crying. And damn if she didn't have a perfect little matched set of 3 year old chompers marked out in the soft tender skin of her upper arm.

So, I kicked the kid in the mouth and yelled, "Ha HA child with very dumb name... now that I have knocked all your vicious teeth out you can never harm the innocent again!"

Kidding.

To say Eva was upset would be an understatement. She simply could not fathom someone hurting her. A friend no less. A buddy with whom only moments earlier was a great fun... why, Mama? Why he bite me? Why he hurt me? He my friend? He not like me?

This is the first time my daughter has had to deal with this issue... being hurt for no reason.

I know that this little boy isn't some devil child. Some kids bite. I know. He has a poor verbal foundation and instead of using his words he acted out and hey... it happens all the time. But, it took a teeny piece of my daughter's innocence.

And it is just the beginning. She will be hurt. She will have her heart broken and her back stabbed... because we all do.

But I had hoped to put it off just a little bit longer.

45 comments:

eastcoastermomma said...

Poor, poor, girl! Give her a hug from the internet!

mamatulip said...

Ugh. This is the reason why I'm afraid to leave Oliver in the daycare at the gym while I go work up ass sweat. He doesn't bite, but he hits. With toys. He's clocked Julia more times than I can count and I'm so worried that if I leave him somewhere, he'll hit another kid with a toy.

I feel for you. And I feel for Eva. Poor thing.

Los said...

That story made me sigh .... the awakening from innocense.

Anonymous said...

Transgendered ex husband? I thought you said your life was dull?

Stephanie said...

Man, that stinks. Life is hard. It is nice when are children are not old enough to know that yet.
- Stephanie
www.mesocrafty.wordpress.com

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Oh my gosh, this story is so sad and sweet and the contrast of the teacher's situation and eva's loss of innocence was brilliant. It starts with a bite, and then next thing you know, your husband is a woman.

Lisa

Mommy off the Record said...

My son is starting daycare in a few months so I am already dreading this kinda thing. Gah!

Poor Eva. I hope she's OK.

furiousBall said...

Yep. This stuff breaks your heart, kids are cruel at times.

Also, never feed the hand that bites you, because hands that have teeth are weird.

Oh, The Joys said...

The Mayor once got bit so squarely - or ROUNDLY I guess - on the nose on a Friday that he spent the whole weekend with us with a ring of chomper marks right on the bulb of his nose.

Pathetic.

But to your sentiment - totally. It does call your protective instinct right to the surface. It makes me feel like a mama lion. (With really sharp teeth of my own.)

Connie said...

Well hell! That's no fun.

Of course, the teacher is probably trying to figure out what truck ran her over too when hubs is dressing like a cheap harlot.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Well then don't leave her with Chicky because Eva will get bonked off the head with a wooden spoon, just how our dogs are regularly treated.

Poor Eva. But remember, Mama, a bite is nothing compared to a broken heart. Aren't you glad we have girls?

scribbit said...

That will happen too when someone says, "I won't be your friend anymore" for whatever reason. Kids can be horrible sometimes.

Recovering Wino said...

Oh, I shudder to think of everything that is ahead for all of our kids...

Jill said...

At least she is willing to tell you how she feels. When something happens to my 4-year-old he refuses to talk about it. Drives me nuts.

Poor Eva. Whether it's biting or wearing lycra, those boys just cause us girls trouble.

mollymcmo said...

poor eva. its so hard when they are hurt by other children, at times i have to restrain myself too from charing in there like some mama bear and just eating the child and spitting them out.

its hard to let your children go out and live in the "real world", i'm right there with you my friend.

m

mollymcmo said...

the ex husband sounds like fun :)

m

Jodi said...

Um, yeah, I want more stories about that transgendered husband dude, for sure! SOrry about Eva's arm though, poor baby

Eric said...

It is definitely hard to see your child get hurt. You want so much to protect them, or at least to put off the realization of the casual cruelty of the world. But we can only do what we can do.

I have to tell you, though, it is so much harder to see your child hurt others. And it is harder still to see your child hurt himself. Neither of those is any fun at all.

Shelley said...

Oh man! Poor baby.

You want I should work him over for you? No?

Lena said...

You are a better woman than I. That child would have been gumming his dinner.

Extra hugs for Eva!

Michelle said...

Oh no, the poor little girl :( This is sad.

Anonymous said...

Poor Eva. Tell her that men will hurt you, but most don't grow up to decide they want to be women.

Christina_the_wench said...

Poor Eva. Did the parent of the 'biter' know her spawn did this?

Teach her to bite him back.

Kidding. But it might stop him next time!

Ninotchka said...

Awww, poor little Eva.

I experienced this with Natalie yesterday. She was hurt by a friend and it pained me that it wasn't the first or last time she or my other children will be hurt.

Best we can do is provide a soft place for them to seek comfort and regroup, I guess. :(

dgm said...

if the biter broke the skin, i'd take eva to the doc to be sure she doesn't need a tetanus shot. (my friend's kid got bit in the face in the mcdonald's play area and had to get one.)

in any event, that totally bites!

carrie said...

Oooooh, I hate that! Don't you wish we could just cover them with our mommy capes so that stuff NEVER happened???

Hopefully the biter will stop his behavior, either that or someone will bite him back and then maybe he'll be cured!!

Carrie

Glinda said...

My sister was a Jeffrey-Dahmer-in-waiting, so my mother bit her to make her stop that nonsense--it worked. Ahh, those were the days.


P.S. Got any pictures of Mr.
Gender-gone-awry?

Kevin Charnas said...

That poor little sweety!!! That makes my heart hurt. That little fucker...give him some marbles to chew on.

And...

AND...

HELLO??? THE WHOLE TRANSGENDERED THING??? LYCRA AND BANGLES??? WHAA???? DETAILS!!! DETAILS, WOMAN!!!

Michele said...

Poor Eva! But I feel really sorry for the mother. My son was a biter and it was horrible. I was worried about him "really" hurting someone and for about a year, we didn't play with other kids.

Stephanie A. said...

Aww, poor Eva. Isn't it incredible how quickly it can turn into protector mama?!?! I've felt that way a few times about Hugo already and logically, yeah, I understand what's happening, but my mama's heart just aches.

crazymumma said...

shit. poor thing. just wait until the list's of who is 'in the club and who is not in the club' starts...about grade one if I remember correctly. I hope that the teacher spoke with the parent about what happened and that you get an apology.

Pendullum said...

That's horrible!!!!
I have been lucky... My daughter was not bitten... Nor had she had her hair pulled or any other of the tricks of the playground bully....
I do not know howI would react... I just know I am a great momma bear, and it would take a great deal of deep breathing before I dealt with the biter... You are a stronger woman than me Kristin...
and give Eva a big hug from this ole Momma Bear!

Jenn said...

Awww Poor Eva, and poor mommy. I guess you might as well get it out of the way. Like you said, gonna happen eventualy. But I know how you feel. =o(

Baba Ganoush said...

I remember the first time my son was bit at his old daycare. I wanted to go down there and set some people right.

How did this happen? Where were the teacher? Did my son do anything wrong?

Our new daycare (we moved) has webcams. After we moved he got bit a few times here, and I would watch that damn camera for hours trying to figure out what happened.

They my son started biting - gee, wonder where he learned that!?! He's only 2, so he doesn't draw the correlation of why did my friend hurt me - Thank God!

Dan said...

But I had hoped to put it off just a little bit longer.

Yeah, I know. It's like that first little ding in the side of a new car. Once we get that, we start parking along with the rest of the cars where the other people park.

I'm sure sweet little Eva will be fine. She seems like a great kid. Innocence can be real bad in the real world. It doesn't mean that she's going to become cold and hard -- just less naive. Which is probably good, right?

Kristin said...

Thank you all for your sweet words... Eva is fine... she milked it for all it was worth, and despite the vulnerabilty I showed here, I was more casual and direct about it with her... however, this same little boy apparently bit another child yesterday, so his tenure at school is looking to be cut short.

The mother asked the teacher to tell me/Eva how sorry she was (I think she should have called me)and I can guarantee you that Eva will have be cutting this kid W-I-D-E berth.

Nicki said...

at least you had the restraint not to bite him back.....

ciodude said...

A related biting story: My mother would tell stories of me as a child, biting my older sister. Nothing she did would get me to stop. In desperation she asked her pediatrician at the time what to do. She said "bite him back". She did and apparently that stopped me. The twins (20 months old now) will sometimes bite each other when things don't go their way.

I am sure Eva will recover and not be permanently mentally scarred.

TBG Happenings said...

I know exactly what you are talking about. This week Hannah brought her new little firefly cell phone to show her friend at school ( yes, breaking the no cell phone rule at school. she was supposed to zip into a pocket in her backpack). When we got home she realized her phone was missing, but my sweet girl wasn't worried " Mommy don't worry anytime someone in my class finds something they give it to the teacher." I left school on Friday with my little girl in tears in part because she couldn't believe someone would keep something that wasn't theirs. *sigh* lesson learned at the tender age of ten.

Maryellen

Lisa said...

Poor Eva. I know what you mean. WHen you see a kid ignore your child's attempts to befriend or a you see a child hurt your little one it breaks your heart...

something blue said...

It is a hard lesson to learn, we always hurt the ones we love. It looks like Eva has a boyfriend.

Mom101 said...

Argh, this is my worst fear. Second only to Nate leaving me for a transgendered, latex lifestyle.

She will heal. But you, you'll always remember.

Sandra said...

Oh poor Eva. I remember my son's first bite ... you are so right, it IS like stealing her innocence and breaking her heart.

InterstellarLass said...

Awww. I feel bad for the both of them. I can't imagine Nick in Lycra. Now my Ex? That's another story...

AdventureDad said...

Day care can be tough for some. Accidents will happen, i's just a question of when. i find it tough to let go but i force myself. I know my kids will be better off in the long run even though it hurts me inside to see my son hurt.

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