Tuesday, January 09, 2007

And Still Nothing...

You might think that I would have something for you but you would be wrong. Life is dull, dull, dull around here and unless you count mastering the fun of the DVR and therefore getting to watch My Name is Earl at your leisure, as a good time, you would be sadly disappointed if you found yourself at Casa de Las Vegas.

Or maybe, you would be sadly disappointed at settling in with your husband to watch your much touted Nigella only to have said husband turn to you and ask, "Is she on barbiturates?" and just as you were all set to get domestic on his ass you hear Nigella say, "There is something so comforting about seeing all these peppers together... they are like a warm fire in your refrigerator." and you are forced to concede that yes, it is quite possible that she is indeed on the barbiturates.

We spend a lot of time taking photos of the dog. It turns out small dogs are rather fabulous and they are working hard to undo the damage done to their reputations by having their peeps seen in public with the likes of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Our dog would like you to remember that Tinkerbell and Bit Bit had no say in the matter and that if you will recall your tabloid antics, Bit Bit has gone on to greener pastures (and I don't mean that farm your parents tell you your dog is at when in fact he is six feet under and yet, somehow they think that telling you they just gave away your pet is better than the truth.).

Interestingly, the small dog has alter egos... sometimes he is Jones, our domestic family pet who likes chewy bones and peeing in the house... sometimes he is Mr. Nibbles and NO ONE questions, Mr. Nibbles (name that Holiday ad!) and he spends his time barking at the big dogs and pretending that he doesn't weigh 4 pounds... and sometimes he is Senor Estrabados, a slick and clever lock-picking creature, who, if human, would sport a small mustache and a bad attitude.

Most unfortunately (for him), sometimes he is Eva's "baby" and is forced to disappear with her for long periods of time... typically emerging either strapped into the dolly stroller or wearing Barbie jewelry.

The dog also has a sweater. And a purse. And a spiky collar to save him from the unforgivable sin of, "looking like a goddamned girl".



Save me from the leetle girl.


* and I would be remiss if I didn't remind you that today is Mamarazzi Tuesday and suggest you click over and have a little looksie at what fool thing celebrity parents are up to now...



30 comments:

furiousBall said...

Although I'm not a fan of little dogs ("Little dogs take up air big dogs should be breathing"), I do like hearing about them being tortured by children. I guess there really wasn't an "Although" to my first sentence. But please go on about the little dog Abu Graib going on in your house...

Mr. Fabulous said...

Wait just a cotton picking minute...how are you able to watch "Earl" at my leisure?

Are you a witch?

Tuesday Girl said...

I want that doggie! I'll take the pretty girl too please.

Connie said...

That dog has "Aye,caramba!" written all over his face.

A purse? Who knew of doggie purses?

dodo said...

sorry you're still feeling the suckiness. I've been trying to kill it off by doing garden jobs in the wind and rain while I'm off work with a fever/throat/achey back thing. SO far I have taken down a gazebo (put up over a year ago for a weekend party) and scraped 5 year old vasrnish from the outside of window frames, left behind when previous owners of house were busy daubing it with interior wood stain. Next job: restain. or maybe paint. Am trying to engender sense of achievemnet in the otherwise sucki of january.

and. also. the samll dogs - my offspring will happily bound up to a rottweiler but still runs screaming from anythign smaller than our cats!

Johnny said...

Great pic! Just her size!

wzgirl said...

OMGod - Thank you for the laugh this morning. You are a funny, funny woman!!

Anonymous said...

Is this thing on?

Los said...

Puppy dog!!!!!!!

Earl is a fantastic show. NBC is finally doing Thursday nights right again with Earl, The Office, and Scrubs (haven't gotten into 30-Rock).

Egan said...

I know this post is about a tv show, but I must comment about how adorable your daughter is. Best wishes for the new year.

Kristin said...

Egan-

Nope, not a TV show... sadly, this is my actual life. If it were a TV show it would be called, "My Name is Dullsville but the Kids and the Dog are Cute".

Recovering Wino said...

That is quite a risque photo of the dog. Does he know you posted that on the internet?

Kristi said...

Yeah...you might want to invest in some underpants for the dog if you're going to reveal his bidness to the world.

He'll thank you.

Then again, maybe he's dirty like that. Dirty dog with a spiky collar.

Gracencameronsmomy said...

Ohh,ohh, Old Navy??I'm with ya with the boring life...

scribbit said...

Don't worry, something will happen soon. It's always like that. Boring for a bit but then . . . who knows.

Kids are a guarantee of that. :)

Kristen said...

How cute that your husband (I assume this was him) cares if the dog looks like a girl!

Kristen said...

I forgot- Tim refuses to watch Nigella and has turned me off to her as well because, as he pointed out, she describes food like sex- luscious strawburries and she eats it like sex too! Have you seen her eat a pork chop? Man it's almost pornographic! She made pork chops a while back (this is when she was first on the food network) and she made them so the bone kind of stuck out like a handle and they all ate the pork chops with their hands. It was wierd. I think it must just be me who was freaked out. Sorry.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Your description of your dog cracked me up. Alter ego? Multiple ones? It is so true. And so is the fact that Nigella must be on some amazing drugs. Something tells me it's not the peppers that make her so happy.

Lisa said...

I think my boy was a little dog in a previous life. And he still hasn't lost that little dog attitude....

Abbey-dog would like to say to Jones that yes, she understands that painful "please kill me now" look in his eyes. As she subjects her momma to that look every time "the boy" tries to hug her.

something blue said...

Oh yes, your little dog most definitely has an accent!

Small doses of dull are highly recommended.

Ninotchka said...

save me from the leetle girl

ha ha ha Hilarious picture!

Pattie said...

*LOL*
I would love to see the pup in that jewelry sometime.
And that caption below that picture is hilarious!

Dan said...

The dog is really cute but the leetle girl is absolutely adorable.

I suspect that she will turn him into a leetle girl himself if he's not careful.

Lena said...

That sounds like a fantabulous day. Just add wine and maybe chips and I'm on my way!

Oh. And Nigella? Totally smoking the ganja.

kim said...

lol i love that caption

penguininthesun said...

haha, your dog's got personality.

Kathryn M. said...

Finally! Blogger was so difficult yesterday and I have been trying to get back to your site.

Your dog and your child are so cute, this post made me laugh!

eastcoastermomma said...

I want a lap dog, but my husband says the kids would hurt it. Maybe I should show him this post so he can see how resilient they are?

Egan said...

It would behoove me to read blog posts more carefully.

Andrea said...

Eva is so cute but I am not sure about the chihuahua!