Monday, January 15, 2007

Family: The Ties That Bind (and choke)

Have you opened a college fund for the children, yet? I have sent them checks and if you haven't opened a college fund... well...

I had the boys mixed up because they haven't grown at all this year... they aren't very tall.

So you have Eva in a Montessori program? There was a Montessori school near our house when I was younger... we never associated with those children - they were different.

I would check my email if I thought there was a chance there would be a picture of the children waiting for me...

I'm sorry I didn't buy the boys anything for Christmas, but it is so hard to know what they like when I never see them.

The above are actual statements, all said to me, by the same family member, in less than 2 hours.

And how was your weekend?


56 comments:

Connie said...

What? No justifiable homicide?

Glad you made it out the other side without throttling anyone. ;0)

Maggie said...

That's the definition of passive-aggressive right there. I get barbs like that from time to time, too, but not in such great quantity. You're dealing with a pro there, Kristin.

dodo said...

if that family member is still walking about with the same facial features as prior to the aforementioned two hours, you can have a medal - I'll make you one!

Christina_the_wench said...

Good god. Did you throw anything at her? Here. Use my monitor.

Lisa & Jeff said...

Reminds me of my MIL.... When we asked her to watch our daughter for the first time she said....."She would probably be scared because she really doesn't know me!" The woman lived 20 minutes away! The second time we asked her to watch her she said she was really busy and would get back to us.....that was 15 years ago......

M3 (Mary-Mia) said...

Whooooeeeeee, a nice dose of passive aggressive with some old-fashioned angry martyr thrown in for good measure. Nice...

eastcoastermomma said...

In 2 hours?

*shaking head in disbelief*

Anonymous said...

I was wondering where my MIL had go to!

Oh, The Joys said...

...and you took this family member out back and shot them, right? Heh.

Pendullum said...

HEy??? Could we share the same MIL? But all said while consuming a gallon of vodka!!!

Kristin said...

All I will tell you, in the interest of family harmony, is that is wasn't my MIL...

But, Pend, I opted for the gallon of vodka once home! ;-)

Nikki said...

Don't break throw Christina's monitor....throw Christina.

Michele said...

Were you laughing or raging inside?

Lisa said...

Oh. Dear. God. My guess is that its a MIL.

InterstellarLass said...

Oh my. Did you give them a black eye? At least the finger?

Stephanie said...

Lucky you. And said family member wonders why she/he doesn't see the kids that often?
Stephanie
www.mesocrafty.wordpress.com

Anonymous said...

How dare they make you look so crazy! Um, that's not permanent is it?

s@bd said...

grrrr ...

(sorry, that's the best i could do - everyone else already took the funny lines)

carrie said...

I feel your pain. Really.

"Well, you can just pay for them (ha, ha, ha)".

Said by my evil family member when Brett and I were cautioning her about the fact that if she has lap band surgery, she will need expensive supplements to get her nutrition. Of course, we only brought this up because she wants to go to Tiajuana to have it done so it will save her $$$$!!!

See, you're not crazy.

They are.

Carrie

Mel said...

Awesome. You've gotta love someone who can say those things. (Or not.)

Mama G said...

Oi. That sucks. It's pretty obvious why that person doesn't get the see your kids very often ... wow.

Dan said...

A member of your family or perhaps of the Munsters??

scribbit said...

Wow, and the question on everyone's lips is:

Is the woman (and you know it's a woman) still alive? Or did you dispose of her in the basement?

You'd never get convicted if you did it.

Los said...

I probably would've punched the guy/gal in the throat with those comments.

Glinda said...

She's clearly lost control of the inner monologue...

Has anyone suggested medication for Tourettes?

Mr. Fabulous said...

Want me to take care of that person for you?

*cracks knuckles*

TBG Happenings said...

Everyone has someone like this in their family! it helps the rest of the fam feel normal!!

My MIL says crazy shit like that (we call them sueisms)...I just call her out if I have the energy, other times I save it for later to share with my friends.....over drinks!

maryellen

Mrs. Chicky said...

Good lord. That doesn't even qualify as passive aggressive. I'm just amazed you're not locked up for murder right now.

Shelley said...

Good God, that could only come from a MIL. I got shivers, my dear, just reading it. :)

Wes said...

Family. Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em. *Sigh*.

Jack-on-the-Lake said...

Are we related? Are you sure that wasn't my mother??

kayce said...

OMG!! That's shity!!

AdventureDad said...

Oh shit. What did you do to deserve this? How come you still speak to this idiot?

AD

Nicki said...

be proud that you kept your composure (being a debutante comes in handy sometimes) and simply went home and drank yourself silly! you should send her pictures of very tall children, like obsenely tall, and very hippy-ish, dirty, funky girls. she didn't specify who the pictures had to be of, right? ...... she is, always has been and always will be a ratchy old b****

Jenn said...

WOW, I think we may be related!!!

Kristin said...

Y'all (y'all? because I am Britney Spears?) seriously, it wasn't my MIL... but yes, an in-law it be.

And I have totally given up on trying to get along with this person... it is the same person who prefaces Eva's name with "Chinese".

Now, when something totally obnoxious comes flying out of the mouth, I just shrug and make a weird noise.

And Hugh and I really do laugh about it... because, this time, it took less than 15 seconds for the first insult to fly and that, my friends, is a sick talent!

Stephanie said...

Just an FYI, I just updated my old Forks & Chopsticks blog (I just coudn't stay away for so much longer). Hope you can stop by!

Damselfly said...

Hmm, bet I can guess who might have made those comments. Sounds like grandmaspeak. Why do grandmas have to be so snarky?!

Rhea said...

Wow, families say the darnedest things. You wouldn't accept stuff like from a friend, but family members feel like they can just take pot shots at ya.

Anonymous said...

you really do look insane in that photo.

Baba Ganoush said...

Don't family members say the darndest?!?

The best come from In-laws, cause you really just have to take it all in and smile. Well, at least I do.

Vodka is always the best remedy.

kim said...

first let me say lmao @ all your friends ...and I agree with Glenda ... she needs meds or a muzzle maybe ?

Becky said...

mother in law say that huh? lol

Christina_the_wench said...

I saw that, nikki, ya' ho.

Jodi said...

wow. Did you spend the weekend with my Grandma by any chance?

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

OMG block that person's email. Ha ha. How about a send the needy to therapy fund alongside that college fund. Yay therapy!

Lisa

Mama C-ta said...

And then you stabbed them with a fork?

And by "different" she meant better, right?

Mrs. T said...

I think it would be funny to send this person random photos of other people's children- and keep switching them just to mess with her. Because nothing is funnier than messing with people like this.

Jill said...

OMG! Montessori? What are you people, a bunch of aliens?!? ;-)

Pattie said...

Talk about a guilt trip!

I would be batshit crazy, too...

Wicked Witch said...

So much to think about. we will be broke by the time this is all over.

Anonymous said...

Hey, you ok? Haven't heard from you in awhile. Write, call, scream, anything!!!!

Kevin Charnas said...

jeezzuzz...

you know what i say...pepper spray.

texas math said...

Your answer to that last statement should have been "they absolutely love staying away from you!"

Slackermommy said...

That beast of a human needs a life and a good therapist!

Marian said...

Mean. A person who wants to create confluct and upset, or who just dosnt realise how her comments affect other people. Sounds unbelievable, but some people genuinly just dont realise what they're actually saying.