Wednesday, December 06, 2006

...pixie dust spreader on the Tilt-A-Whirl...

My favorite movie line ever...surely you all recognize it??

I thought this was a better title than Botox and Me or 37 & Lookin' Like Hell.

Seriously people, how on Earth did I get to be old and well, just old? I creak and I ache and I want naps.

This morning I had a meeting with my publisher and he was talking about theme and content and copyrights and I was thinking about the pretty pretty wallpaper in his office and how cute my friend Kelly's shoes are and I wonder if they come in black?

Meandering thoughts. Like an OLD person.

Extra weight sticks around a lot longer than it used to... I still can remember when skipping lunch meant fitting into the skinny pants by evening... now I have the metabolism of my Granny and I swear to you my mother asked me if I wanted to go to "Aqua Fit" with her this summer. Water Aerobics is the exercise of the artificial hip and bad knee crowd and even my very own mother thinks I would fit right in.

So today I took the third step in regaining my youth... I looked up all the hot chicks who are older than I:

Cindy Crawford
Ashley Judd
Debra Messing
Courtney Cox

That's a partial list but you get the idea.

The second step was arranging for a trainer to come to my home 3 days a week. Honestly, like a small child or VERY OLD PERSON I need a keeper and the fact is I am not going to work out unless a chic and rather frightening lesbian named, "Janine" is knocking at my door with her free weights and balance ball.

The first step was the other day.

I got the botox.

And my forehead is looking fabulous.

36 comments:

Melissa said...

Did it hurt??? That's so scary for me. I don't know if I'd have the nerve to do it.

hautemama said...

I'm with you on your thoughts on swimming..it's for old ladies and very large people. And those nose plugs and caps should be banned!!

Shelley said...

Oh Kristin. I can so relate. You are too funny girl.

I want to see the Botox effect. What does it feel like?

Connie said...

Oh wow...I hope that went okay...some poor peeps get some interesting facial expressions or lack thereof.

Hey - my thoughts have wandered since I was about 4...sometimes it just happens.

new girl said...

We need more info about the Botox! Are you happy with it? Do you feel like yourself? Would you do it again?

And the trainer. Oh yeah, I've got to get on that. Even though I've only gone up a couple of pounds, a roll has permanently taken up residence in my midsection. But I refuse to let muffin top enter my vocabulary.

Joannah said...

One of my co-workers raves about Botox! Good luck with the trainer. I used to have one of those. It's a good thing...

Lisa & Jeff said...

Just to make you feel even better about your age....You know who my new hero is?......Rachel Welch! That woman is in her 70's and she is STILL smokin' hot!

Please give us an update on the botox...I have been thinking about having it done myself. Did it hurt?

Stephanie said...

Um, I think I remember seeing a picture of you on your blog months ago. Unless you had the damn thing retouched, you looked pretty good to me! BTW, could you have that trainer stop by my house? - Stephanie (old forks & chopsticks, now at www.mesocrafty.wordpress.com)

Kristin said...

No, the photo wasn't retouched... just black and white and very kind to wrinkles.

& the botox didn't hurt a bit! It's a little "crunchy" sounding (ew) but that's it... it takes about 3-5 days to kick in, but there is a definite smoothness to my forehead... just stop me if I start to go all "Teri Hatcher".

I am a convert and will duly return in a few months for another fix.

Merry Mama said...

why on earth did that make me laugh?

Kristin said...

Well, Merry Mama, thank goodness it did... cuz, I sort of go for the funny around here...

InterstellarLass said...

You are too funny. I'm glad you feel better. As for me, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting older. I'm starting to get some lines and wrinkles, and I think I've earned them all.

graceinca said...

I love love love botox. restylane rocks as well. 4-6 months in between is the usual, I've been doing it for about 8 years now. the personal trainer is the best way--I too would simply just not do it if someone was not relying upon me to be ready for that hour. only suggestion, because you didn't ask, is to keep the spiritual going along with the increased maintenance as the forties unfold. I'm lucky enough to be in recovery, so daily prayer and meditation are just part of who I am today. they go well with the cellulite cream (love the one from Avon yep, Avon). and btw anonymous sucks ass. but you knew that.

Melissa said...

Your trainer scares me a little. Good luck with that though.

Stephanie A. said...

Man, at least you (and Jennster) know what it is like to be able to skip a meal to get back into those skinny jeans. My metabolism has always been ssslllloooooooooowwww!

And I want to see some before and after shots. Seriously because you were HOTT before, so I want to see you now!

Rhea said...

Hey, how old are you anyway? 30?

Eric said...

It is comforting to know that no matter how old we get, there is always going to be someone out there who is even older than us who is still hot. I mean, I could be 70 and still point to Paul Newman. And you always have Raquel Welch and Sophia Lauren. Not to worry!

carrie said...

As long as you don't end up with a frozen face, and can still smile, it's all good with me!!!

I want a trainer, boo-hoo!!! Can I trade places with you, just until Christmas, so I can fit into my pants????

Carrie

ps. And oh yes, did it hurt? And when can we arrange to have one of those parties where the Doc comes over, looking all gorgeous, we have cocktails, and we all get a little help?

Tuesday Girl said...

I love it! good for you.

kim said...

whatever it takes to make you feel better about you right?
id need a really understanding personal trainer ....one that didnt mind whining and dragging me
i personally am too far gone bahahaha ... im just going to remember how i screwed up for the next life :)

Los said...

Botox? No way! Isn't that basically the same thing as rat poison?

Lisa & Jeff said...

I thought I would check back to see if the botox hurt and I read my previous comment. I spelled my hero's name wrong! I called her Rachel!! hehe!

Kristin said...

Los,

Damn, had I planned better, I could have looked younger and solved my rodent issue.

Glinda said...

1. Please put me on the list of hot chicks older than you, thank you very much.

2. Why waste time with Botox, just get a facelift now...remember a stitch in time saves nine.

Jill said...

I don't know, I think those meandering thoughts with your publisher were an awful lot like the thoughts that went through my head during high school algebra class. You're the equivalent of a mere teen, Kristin!

Izzy said...

Your forehead looks fabulous? You looked fabulous ALREADY! I've seen your pretty picture. I KNOW!

But YES, YES, YES! to the meandering thoughts...

*looong pause*

Now what was I saying?

mamatulip said...

I am dying to know what movie the title of this post is from.

Oh, The Joys said...

All my attention to my own aging is concentrated on my boobs right now. They are so sad. SO SAD. I can't even tell you...

Jenny said...

Really?! You got BOTOX?! I want to hear ALL about it.

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Wow! What was it like?????

Lisa

Wicked Witch said...

I think Oprah is older than me. other than that.. . .

Kristin said...

Mama Tulip-

It's from, Christmas Vacation... our personal family favourite!

Lisa said...

Hey, the only reason I haven't gotten Botox yet is because I've been waiting until AFTER I had a baby... Cause you can't do that stuff shortly before being pregnant. Been waiting 2 years -- sigh... Maybe someday!

SO glad to hear your results are great!

sunshine scribe said...

Christmas Vacation. Love it.

Botox and a personal trainer .. you go girl. I have my granny's metabolism too but have somehow surrendered

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

You did???? WTF?????? Are you nuts???? Be very careful. A couple in Florida got a batch of bad botox and they were totally paralyzed for weeks. (I can't remember how long now). They couldn't even speak. It was awful.

I'm thinking I want to be Judy Dench. A total ball buster. Cut my gray hair short and let the wrinkles scare the living shit out of people.

--kelly

Wil said...

Christmas Vacation. Solid Movie