I incorrectly dialed a phone number this afternoon. A woman who sounded to be about 400 years old answered said wrong number. She and I tossed a few, "hellos?" back and forth before I caught a clue and said, "I'm sorry, I have the wrong number." And I hung up. An ordinary happening. Something that happens hundreds of times a day all over the telephone dependent world. A non-event.
Until they called me back.
After I hung up I checked the number and dialed the one I actually wanted and was in the process of canceling a dinner reservation when I heard the tell-tale beep of "new voice mail".
And this is what I heard:
You stupid bitch,next time you are so stupid and dial a wrong number, don't be so fucking rude.
The grandson? Son? Local hostile guy? Who has taken such umbrage at my wrong number?
So, I am sitting there sort of staring at the phone wondering what kind of freak would have the time for this type of thing when the phone rings again.
And it's my wrong number.
This time the message is:
Hi, Kristin. It's me. The guy you crank called. Listen, I think I love you and I want to marry you, so call me back.
I call my cell phone company and learn that they cannot block specific phone numbers from reaching me. They will, however, change my number for free. I don't think 2 phone calls warrants that drastic of a response, but I tell her I'll keep it in mind.
The phone rings again.
You are one dumb bitch..
That does it.
I call back and the fucker cheese doodle has his granny answer the phone! Here was my message to her:
Hello, I have a message for you to pass on to the young man who keeps phoning me. Please tell him that if he calls me one more time I am calling the police and reporting him for harassment. And, you can bet that they will, TAKE. ME. SERIOUSLY. Did you get that? It will take the cops all of five minutes to trace him via his phone number and tell him that he will be arrested and any future thoughts of law school will be out the window. (I don't know why I threw that bit about law school in, but it seemed to be the type of thing that might make an impact on Granny.)
And then I turned off my phone.