Thursday, March 23, 2006

Big Love with the Housewives

Hugh and I have never been huge TV people. We have had our Bachelor moments and (our now fading love thanks to the moany pants character that is Marissa Cooper) The OC and we particulalry enjoy Globe Trekker. However, none of these shows have ever been of the, "Sorry, we can't make it Tuesday night because we need to see how the hometown dates go for Dr. Travis." There was a slight obsession with season 1 of Survivor, but no one ever again captured our fancy like Richard Hatch so we moved on.

Until now.

Now we have 2 shows that we love so much, we just might be willing to risk friendships and lie a lot in order not to miss them. There will be no socializing on Sundays or Tuesdays for us because, heaven forbid, we miss either Big Love, or and this is the true obsession, The Real Housewives of Orange County.

I am fascinated by polygamy. Would a sister wife be bad or good? Would I appreciate the friendship and the help in the kitchen but resent the sex schedule and the group dinners? Would my sister wives and I be united & tolerant of our big goofy but loveable husband, ,or would we be jealous and snipey like a bunch of high schoolers? Would I loan Margene my car, or, like Nikki, would I be a cow and make up some smiley lie about it making weird noises? Hugh and I think there might be a drinking game in this show... something along the lines of a shot of whiskey every time they show Bill Paxton's ass. Bill has 3 wives. You see his ass a lot.

The Real Housewives of Orange County is so very very bad that it's good. It's like this. You can't look away. We watch the show and yell at the TV. Because, you know, they might hear us. And take our advice. And then not be so stupid. But, then, we wouldn't watch the show.

The show is terrifying. It makes us want to leave town because we are scared we might run into one of these women on the streets and they will then cut us deep. They are not real women. They are women who say things like, "When you are bored at home, make up a little dance to do for him when he comes home." And, "Success in real estate has taking my shopping to a whole new level." They have children who bitch about being given a Mercedes convertible because, the brother having driven it for two weeks, it is "used".

They have husbands who "suggest" boob jobs, they refer to their neighborhood as, "behind the gates" and they have their daughter's makeup professionally done for the 8th grade dance.

Sigh. It is such good television.

My dream is that they combine the two for a Big Love with the Housewives special. Bill Paxton does a little dance! Sister wives loan each other the keys to the Mercedes! Polygamy behind the gates!

Excuse me. I am off to email Bravo.

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Anyone else having trouble with Blogger comments? Hmmm... I have disabled the "word verification" option in the hopes that move will solve the problem.

21 comments:

eastcoastermomma said...

I think I should win a prize for always being the first to comment!

I love both the shows! Bill Paxton has a great butt and do you realize he is 50?

J.D. said...

Sadly, this leaves very little time for American Idol

Tuesday Girl said...

I loooove housewives of OC. It is so good. I like Big Love too, but I still want to watch a few more episodes before I become addicted.

Mel said...

I was having issues with blogger comments, too . . . I rebooted my computer, cast out a demon and it seems to be working now.

I need to watch that show! The real housewives show . . .

Anonymous said...

The Houswives have nothing on you and your adventures. Can't wait to hear what this weekend brings!

Gracencameronsmomy said...

I do not watch either of these shows...I will have to check them out...I spend too much time on the computer to watch to much tv!
Lisa

savymanda said...

Drat. . . I don't have cable (my brilliant idea!) Those both sound like shows I would thoroughly enjoy (which is exactly why I cancelled cable). I'm with Lisa, I'm all about the computer.

northern Stargirl said...

Please, a "sister-wife" sounds like hell. It would be as though you never left the sorority house!

But those housewives are something else! I especially like to hate the one with the gigantic fakes boobs from MN.

Stephanie said...

I've seen some commercials for the housewives of OC show - I guess I will just have to check it out!

f said...

I am planning on a couple of more wives. The one I have isn't enough work. I mean, I would be getting another wife for her, so we could live according to "The Principle".

You know this is the only show I watch.

If I had another wife it would have to be you, baby!

Kristin said...

F.,

You are a big geek.

K.

Kim M. said...

Oh I'm so glad you admitted that you like Big Love. I love it. What a great show. It kinda like Six Feet Under meets Desperate Housewives. By the way I never miss Grey's Anatomy or ER.

Nicki said...

Watched Big Love last night. Jury still out on the sister-wives idea, although I really liked the joint backyard. Poor Margie needs a little furniture in her house though. Appartently it sucks (pun intended) to be the younger wife.

Can't quite make it though the real OC houewives", bc "Jo" is an idiot and "the gates" drive me insane and who told them really bad blonde hair extensions were back in? And the poor kid who didn't make it into MLB...

Now we ( our lovely group of friends) live in the OC, live much funner lives, and in reality, probably have a bigger pot to piss in "than the lease my car, mortgage my house behind the gates to pay for the really bad hair extensions and way too big boobs housewives", and apparently larger brains bc we are not featured on said TV show, nor would we ever consider it...

Well, I suppose I should never say never.

Julie said...

I disconnected my cable about 6 weeks ago, so I am not familiar with this show. But in a way your fascination with it, sounds much like the fascination I had for E's "The Girls Next Door" when I had cable.

It was a show that follows Hugh Hefner's three live in girlfriends, who are in fact friends. I was addicted, only because I couldn't understand how they lived like that. These things are much like train wrecks, you nabbed it.

Michelle said...

We LOVE "Big Love". It's funny, because Polygamy fascinates me too. Don't know why! As for "Real Housewives" I too am addicted. Unfortunatly my husband does not share my enthusiasm for that show. He says it makes him physically sick to see people that rich with nothing better to do with their lives. Oh, well, guess I'll be watching that one on a night when he's teaching! :)

Perrin said...

Oh yeah, Big Love is good. In the I can't believe I am watching this but I absolutely love it kind of way.

! said...

!!!!!!

crouching mother hidden diva said...

I'm all about the sister wives -- As long as I could select them. I would love having other women with whom I could hang with and share wifely/motherly responsibilities. In fact, my only modification would be that the women and children share a 10,000 square foot house and the "husband" be regulated to a "bachelor" apartment over the garage. Said women could then visit the husband when they needed to get their groove on. Modern Utopia!

Tori said...

Dave and I found Housewives and became insta-addicts.
It's now on our Tivo Favorites list.
Isn't it horrendous...
I am addicted.
Haven't seen Big Love... how could Tivo not have selected this for us on our 'What about' List...
"If you love this.... you'll also love this...."
Will see Tuesday's
Bill Paxton is a polygamist? REALLY?

Lisa S. said...

I have to confess...I'm totally sucked in to BIG LOVE and I have the most admiration for Barb who seems to be the oldest and wisest of the three sister wives... But then again-- she ends up being kind of the mom to EVERY ONE in the entire clan.

I think Nicki is real hag and her family is frightening. I think Barb and Margene are the only two that appear normal. If you can call them normal.

I'd love to have someone share the work with me and the housework and the kids and all of it....but would I share my husband's love and affection and attention?

HELL NO! hahahahahahah Not even if I was having a "not tonight I have a headache" night he'd still have to stay with me. Because why should the guy be the only one getting to have sex with three different people? Uh uh....no...nope.....not happening.....nadda...zip. Give me three husbands to choose from and then we'll talk.

hahahahahahahahahahahahah

ciodude said...

Hmm sounds like interesting TV. I am not sure I can handle any more reality TV though. Give me good old fashioned Sci Fi!