Step 1 - Begin drinking early - like say, 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Blame child for early drinking. Girl child wanted to see Mamma Mia and so you did and felt so full of ABBA goodness that you...
Step 2 - Answered a phone call from a friend whose children were in need of a swim and instead of just saying, Of course, come over! You say, Of course, come over and bring some wine...
Step 3 - Send friend to Spigot Liquor for more wine.
Step 4 - Don't eat anything... do encourage parents of other children to come over and yes, sure, bring some wine...
* do you see a pattern of destruction here?*
Step 5 - Welcome your husband home to a house of inebriated adults and unsupervised children... be very happy when husband suggests Thai food.... ask if he can get some more f*cking w*ne while picking up dinner.
Step 6 - Wake up feeling not unlike you would if someone placed your head in a clamp and then strapped you a Tilt-A-Whirl. Remember why you don't drink much anymore... consider canceling hair appointment... look at roots and take more Tylenol.
