Especially as summer is upon us and that means the tidy scale is about to tip dangerously towards mess and clutter...
However, since February and the launch of the campaign known as "Kristin Learns to Balance Her Checkbook: Stops Being an A$$hole", I have learned a few things and I feel it is only right to share those things with you.
Tip #1
Watering potted plants with pool water will kill them even faster than not watering them at all.
Tip #2
Vacuuming before you have 9 kids over to swim is stupid. Just spritz some Febreeze around the joint and call it good.
Tip #3
You will never be able to corral all the dog hair; learn how to stuff pillows with it, loom it into fibers or ignore it. I have opted for blank stare.
Tip #4
A multitude of housekeeping sins can be camouflaged by candles... remember to invite people only after dark.
Tip #5
No one really cares if the books are dusted.
Tip #6
Just go ahead and leave the Nerf dart up on the ceiling fan, it will eventually fall off.
Tip #7
Make the beds. A made bed improves the look of everything. Also, it gives a person a place to store the laundry.
Tip #8
Children are quite handy.
Tip #9
No matter what, you must pick up after the dogs 2x a day. No matter how shiny the inside, dog sh*t will ruin the effect every time.
and finally, Tip #10
Everything looks better after a glass of wine.
Now tell me, your best hint... and don't say housekeeper or I will be forced to reach through the world wide web and smack the taste right out of your mouth.
