Wednesday, January 14, 2009

You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Blog Is About You


Tonight my husband walked in with a bag from a framing store under his arm... apparently some .01 frame sale action was too good to pass up and he is going to hang some photos in his office... photos from a fishing trip that was taken, I believe, in 1987.

They will hang next to other photos of other fishing trips, other boats and quite possibly other people's boats and aquatic excursions.

Do you have a photo of me in your office?  I ask... trying to sound casual.

Yes.  The Christmas card with us and the boys in the backyard sandbox.

Pause.  Pause.  PAUSE.

The Christmas Card from 1999?

Yeah, that's the one. 

Clearly this is a situation begging to be rectified.  

He then says, Well, what other photo is there?  I would love to have a more recent picture of you!

Seriously.

As though I haven't smiled for the camera once in 10 years?

Gee, let me think... Oh, I know, let me whip open our iPhoto account and you can scroll the endless and often quite ridiculous self portraits I have attempted in the name of a Facebook profile.

My options now are to either print something out for him and hope that he scotch tapes me to the wall, or... and this sounds more appealing... haul myself out to the Mall of Doom for a session with Glamor Shots.  

Rhinestone Cowgirl, anyone?

Yee - Haw!

22 comments:

Los said...

"But honey. It was a FISHING TRIP!"

dgm said...

Oooooh, glamour shot! Do that! ;-)

Jen on the Edge said...

Wait? He has a family photo on his desk that does not include one of your children?

Jill said...

Gla-mour Shots! Gla-mour Shots! Do it! But make sure you get your hair teased up nice and big!

Kristin said...

Los - RIGHT?!

Donna - Rhinestone Cowgirl or Cavewoman?

Jen - He has tons of photos of the kids, but the only one in which I feature is this old outdated holiday card.

Jill - And soft focus lighting... maybe with a pretend mole?

Anonymous said...

My husband has a picture of HIS CAR in his office and it's bigger then our wedding picture!

Michelle said...

Okay I can't believe I'm going to admit this, but I did Glamour shots several years ago(in lingerie, no less) for my husband's anniversary present and they don't do the big hair anymore. The pictures came out quite nice actually. If you aren't makeup and hair style challenged(like I am), you could just go to one of those places in the Mall that does photos but not hair and makeup.

Or you could just ask one of your friends who is talented in photography to take some of you. Some of our best Christmas card pics were taken by my best friend.

Some of the self portraits you take of yourself are quite good. You are beautiful!

Kristin said...

Anon - Car, boat... it's all the same! The dopes!

Michelle - Crumb... I only want to go if I can get something rather horrific... I mean, let's face it, the man has to pay the piper and I can't think of anything better than a totally overdone 8 x 10! And, um, btw... lingerie shots? WHOO HOO - hotsy totsy mamacita!!!

LemonySarah said...

My husband's office photo of me was taken when I was 27.

I was hot. I think he'll never outgrow his midlife crisis.

Kristin said...

Sarah - Crap. I looked great in 1999. Maybe Hugh is suffering from "photographic wishfulness". ;-)

Cynnie said...

at the risk of a chihuahua attack..
It would be funny to have a day of Glamour Shots this year..
it WOULD boost the economy..

wonder if we could take it off on our taxes?

I'm gonna post this idea :)

furiousBall said...

i have pictures of hockey fighters on my walls... did i mentioned i'm divorced?

Issas Crazy World said...

I swear I've had this conversation before with my husband. His is classic cars though, he luffs them.

Picture of me and the oldest is the only pic. None of the other two kids. Weirdo.

Kristin said...

Cynnie - I'm all for boosting what needs to be boosted... but I want TACKY glamour shots... maybe I'll take one of the chihuahua.

Van - Probably a healthy sign that you've taken down the family photos... Hockey Players play nicer.

Issa - I sense a GLAMOUR SHOT in your future!

dgm said...

Cavewoman, fer sure. It's so ... primal.

Anonymous said...

For the sake of all that is good and holy in this world, do NOT go to Glamour shots. Have you never seen the "poodle" picture of me my mom's house? They took the picture not long after they curled my bangs like a big fat sausage circa 1982.

~Lisa

PS. I loved that picture of you guys in the sandbox (brown/black and white, right?)

Kristin said...

Lisa - I want a sausage roll... my plan is all about poor Hugh having to put a ridiculous photo of me in his office... but, let's face it, I'm too vain to let it stay there for long!

movin' down the road said...

HA!! How about have him take a bunch of photos of you and pick one. (or have the kids do it) honestly, some of my best photos, my 6 year old took of me

Anonymous said...

The only solution is to go full frontal.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Maybe he'd go for a picture of you fishing?

Tori said...

Don't do glamour shot! That's sooooo OC! Use one of your iPhoto portraits....

Or a more recent family pic...

Ask Big Wave if he has a pic of me in his office...

I think Batman features more heavily than Wonder Womb-an....

Shelley said...

Rich as a rather largish blow-up Sponge Bob in his office. I kid you not.

And any photos he has of me are from the 80s. I didn't even know him in the 80s. Sentimental type, he is. :D