Monday, September 22, 2008

Yes Virgina, There Really Is A Mid-Life Crisis...

...and my husband, love of my life, father of my children, my best friend and ultimate confidante, might, and I stress the might, be fast approaching one of his very own.

However, to be fair, I think many who work in various aspects of real estate are currently considering those roads not taken... roadie for Metallica... first mate on a fishing boat... boy toy to older and wealthy woman...

But ye gods, people... I fear that we are only moments away from one of those Lifetime movie scenes where he comes home early with a red corvette and an announcement along the lines of, "Great news! I've sold the house and the business and bought an island... this is going to be awesome! We'll build everything ourselves... where's the hammer?"

And, being the Stepford Wife that I am, I will nod happily, call the pharmacist for a Valium refill and stock up on SPF.

Because I think, sometimes, it must be very hard to be the husband in a "traditional marriage". You know, the type of deal where he works and I stay home and civilize the little darlings... it's only now, that the children are older and I still have actual working brain cells at the end of a day, that it has occurred to me that, Hello, that's a hell of a lot of responsibility to shoulder.

I appreciate him so much for doing it... for not begrudging me these years at home... for not suggesting I stuff envelopes or sell Arbonne (although, I love me some Arbonne). He has never belittled my status as "stay at home mother"... which is pretty awesome. He also freely admits that he likes having his wife at home. He likes that his children were able to forgo daycare, a luxury many people don't have... I think Hugh and I both craved, again that phrase, "traditional" marriage". We wanted the picket fence and the 2.5 kids. We wanted to work through arguments of our youth and into elder care and senility... we wanted a simple life.

Of course, nothing is simple and our life is often so ridiculous what with it's filibert farms and the child who thinks he is a psychic and the chihuahua, but it is still the picket fence.

And my husband, my lovely husband, is in the kitchen making eggs for our child who had 2 teeth pulled this afternoon, and he is calling out to me all the possibilites of a different kind of life.

And maybe it's silly and trivial to joke and call it a mid-life crisis... maybe it's more about taking our picket fence on the road.

Or to an island.

Tell me, what's your mid-life fantasy?

28 comments:

jenontheedge said...

I think my husband's midlife crisis started five years ago with the amusement park craze and has continued through now, with his not-so-much-joking requests for a motorcycle. I'll probably give permission for a mistress before the Harley.

Kristin said...

Because seriously, a mistress means 1/2 the money and the cool new eco-house... A Harley means a lifetime spent spoon feeding and wiping up the drool.

Mamma said...

I understand the island quest. I really do. And I've heard they have picket fences there too.

Grim Reality Girl said...

There are times that I dream of the island... perhaps my own midlife crisis?

How cool that you and your hubby both appreciate each other though... him that he loves having you home and you that you appreciate the pressure of being the one who must bring home the paycheck. Mutual appreciation is a BEAUTIFUL thing!

Marisa said...

Just like Eva, your posts are sweet and salty!

Kristin said...

Mama - picket fences and parking for the midlife sports car...

Grim Reality - we run about 90-10 in the Mutual Admiration Society... because there are those times when I long for a secretary and he has his days where I am certain he thinks I do nothing but watch On Demand and drink Diet Pepsi... boy, I better watch what I blog about! ;-)

Marisa - like mother like daughter.

Anonymous said...

not an island, you know i won't ever go to an island again with my children after the debacle of maui, but wait, maybe it should be an island, then i would have to come alone.....

Chris O said...

My husband will be 50 this year and he recently dragged me to all the bike stores so he could get a new expensive bike but with my blessing. He's not out drinking, gambling, or chasing women so I'm all for the bike. Although in one of my husband's bicycle mags, it had a questionaire on who do you love more, your wife or your $2300 bike? I looked if over and I'm not sure I'm coming out ahead.

Los said...

I think a friend of mine, who is 36, just went through a mid-life crisis ... is this possible? He bought a Dodge Challenger. He had a Hyundai Elantra.

Anonymous said...

As long as the two of you are communicating you're safe. It's when they stop talking and only act on impulse that you have a real midlife on your hands!

Joe said...

Working in the real estate industry myself - albeit in a support role - I completely understand the reason for the idle fantasizing.

Oft times I'll consider running off to an island...and then I'll realize that I actually live on one island and work on another.

Kristin said...

Nicki - Those little angels can just have some quality time with their father!

Chris - I am confident that, in a smackdown, you can totally take the bike! ;-)

Los - As long as he stays away from the Crown Vic, I think you're safe...

Anon - Actually, that's quite a good point.

Joe - I think Hugh's island fantasy involves less traffic and perhaps no need for shoes...

Jill said...

It sounds like you guys have a great partnership and I hope your appreciation of Hugh doesn't diminish your role as mom and chief civilizer. You know he couldn't have done it without you :-)

Anonymous said...

what's with all the "my husband is so great" posts?

Kristin said...

Jill - no, you're right... he couldn't have! :-)

Anon - um, cuz he iz...

Issas Crazy World said...

Hmmm I'm not sure, but I'm in one right now. No idea what I want or how I'm going to do it.

But luckily my husband is as supportive and awesome as yours.

Helen E.M. Wright said...

I think now a days that there is a tri-life crisis going on. Anywhere between the ages of 27-32. People changing occupations and just doing weird things.

My husband, well... he bought a skateboard. Everything has been great since then!

Amy Y said...

We've already survived our midlife crisis ~ complete with the mistress. Next time, I'm hoping for the island :)

Niihaus said...

I think I'm in the middle of mine. I started taking drum lessons and can totally drum out to AC/DC's Back in Black...after only 3 lessons mind you! And I've made a list of various other things I want to do. I want to go to a Super Bowl - don't care who's playing, I just want to be in the middle of all that mania. I want to go to a shooting range and fire off some 007 shit. It feels good to be stretching my mind and doing things.
I think the midlife crisis can be excellent!

mimi's mommy said...

Oh, and the picket fence, I think I'm sitting on it.

Carol

mimi's mommy said...

I could use a mid-life crisis. My husband and I moved from Southeast MA to Iowa in 2004. We adopted our daughter in 2006, moved to Texas in February 2008. Since August, my son visited 8/21, I had a colonoscopy on 8/22, my mom died on 8/23. My son left on 8/31, my fish died on 9/1, my cat went missing on 9/8, hurricane Ike hit on 9/12, we got power back on 9/17. But, we are all fine! As my lovey and I lay(lie)in bed last night watching House Hunters, he said "want to just pick up and move to Portugal?" Why yes my love, I would like that very much!My cat is still missing. My daughter (she's 3), thinks he is just out walking! Maybe he had a mid-life crisis.

Carol
(I posted the picket fence comment out of sequence)

Kristin said...

Issa - I hear you... that uncertainty is the symbol of my personal crisis!

Helen - I love it... that's pretty awesome.

Amy - Um, I sort of want to kick some a** on your behalf...

Lisa - Damn! Now we can rightly say, "YOU ROCK!" Careful, I might want to kiss you...

Carol - Uruguay is our S. American escape route... thanks to a really good Anthony Bourdain episode... and may October be a better month!

Tori said...

Kristin...

My husband - who already loves you - will love you more with this Appreciate The Man In Your Life post!!!! I am always told that I should do that more.....

Personally I want Dave to have a mid life crisis (that doesn't involve him trying to become a Superhero!) so he might have some vim and vigor pumped into him...

I keep strongly suggesting....how about we move to Montana? Malaysia?...Menton?

Maybe it is the M's he doesn't like, I'll try another letter! Go on Big Wave - have a mid life crisis....Go on...you can do it!

Daniella said...

Rodie for Metalica cracked me up. My husband just asked me what I thought of the idea of selling his car and buying a 1968 GTX - wtf is all I could say. Is this possibly a mid-life crisis? I thought I was his midlife crisis (totally kidding sort of)- it's a just amongst our friends b/c we have 16 years between us.

M3 said...

My fantasy is to live in a big 'ole house on the beach.

I think Rod already had his mid-life crisis, by the way (is it possible to have it in your early 30s?). When I met him he was driving a screaming red convertible Corvette with a license plate so embarrassing that I will have to email it to you. :-)

dgm said...

I'm nearing the mid-40s, so I like to think mid-life is another 10 years away. I don't really have an escape fantasy, though, although I'd like to write more.

As for my dude, he's not into cars or mistresses or shiny electronics or things of that nature. Give the man his guitar, time to surf, and a roll in the hay and he considers that the good life.

Kristin said...

Mary-Mia - I will be looking for that email!

Denise - You have a point... other than the guitar, Hugh and your hubs have a lot in common.

Daniella - You're a Trophy Wife? AWESOME!

Tor - Big Wave does love the islands...

carrie said...

My husband keeps telling me he's moving to St. Maarten to sell dollar beers . . . think I'll join him!