Crumb.
On Wednesday, as I was heading out to the playground to pick Eva up from school, I held the door open for a mom and her 2 kids... well, she just breezed through, chatting with her children about something or other and didn't acknowledge me... no eye contact, no smile and certainly no thanks.
Which is annoying.
So, I muttered, (in what I thought was a low voice) as I passed through, a snarky, You're Welcome.
And she said, Oh, gosh, thank you. Totally sincere.
And whoops! My little passive aggressive stunt was every bit as rude as her omission of gratitude and I continued to the yard feeling not unlike a little toad.
And sort of praying I would never ever see her again... until maybe 8th grade at which point we could be introduced and I could lay on the charm with a trowel.
Fat chance. Guess who was in Eva's classroom when we popped in to grab a certain someone's Hello Kitty lunchbox? Guess who has a daughter whom Eva loves?
Damn.
We both raced to be the first to apologize and explain our behavior... her, I'm sorry, I was just talking to the kids and I just didn't think... me, I'm sorry, that was rude of me.
And so we talked for a moment and I don't think she will be emailing the rest of the pre-K mommies and neither will I... she seems to be a very nice person, who had a lapse and I hope she sees the same in me...
We'll probably kill each other with kindness for the next 9 years... only to breathe huge sighs of relief on graduation day... free at last!
We'll probably kill each other with kindness for the next 9 years... only to breathe huge sighs of relief on graduation day... free at last!
How about you? Any moments of bitchiness you wish you could rewind?
21 comments:
what are you doing up so early?
you had to figure the story would end this way. it is always the momentary lapses in politeness that come back to bite us.... and they are so rare they stick with us.
nicki
Nothing's coming to mind, because I try to be as polite as possible at all times. I know that's surprising, but it's true.
However...
If I *AM* bitchy to someone, then it was intentional and the result of some egregious offense on their part.
you're completely going to hell now. and they have a special place for the little feeted ones like you
Nicki - Ugh... I'm feeling rather punk today and woke up early congested and icky.
Jen - I too, am unfailingly polite, and it is quite unlike me to be rude (passive aggressive bitchy) which is why I felt so poorly about it... as Nicki said, it's rare and so it's stuck with me!
I lived in Maryland for 3 years, right after living in Georgia where everyone was super duper polite. After months of no "thank you"'s and people letting the door slam in my face rather than hold it for 2 seconds so I could walk through with my stroller and infant, I started being not so quiet about telling people "you're welcome" for not saying thank you and shouting "thanks!" to their back when they didn't hold the door. It's one of my hugest pet peeves and I left thinking that everyone in Maryland was just rude.
I felt my being rude back was completely justified so I don't really regret it... ;) But I'm glad I never found myself face to face like that ~ I'm not good at confrontation.
Yes - just last week! Another mom at curriculum night for the middle schoolers leaned over to me and started complaining about her dislike of our kids' art teacher RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS!
I rolled my eyes and said, "I think she'll be a GREAT art teacher." Then I turned around.
I could FEEL the laser beams pointed to my back but dude, have some restraint lady. Anyway, it's a small town . . . I'm sure I'll see her at Target next week and ignore her.
Nothing comes to mind but thanks for the reminder. I prone to bitchy bouts.
I guess it is just "Karma"....
Van - Do you think they make me wear big shoes? Am I going to Clown Hell?
Amy - I'm ok with confrontation if I feel I am "right"... this was just embarrassing!
Carrie - It's funny you should mention a small town as just a few weeks ago I was on the phone (as opposed to my bluetooth) while driving and this car pulls up next to mine, beeps and starts being very obnoxious with gestures, etc... over my law breaking cell phone usage... well, hello, it was a neighbor! He was mortified when he realized and just sped off!
Catholic Runner - if just one person changes... ;-)
Lisa - Karma never let's me get away with anything... I could never be a CEO with a failing corporation and escape with a golden parachute... I'd be mugged on my way to the bank!
Sometimes I give scowl looks. I wish I could rewind it, because my eyes have paid for it with lines. I will need Botox in the next couple of years.
Its God's way of making me scowl less!!!!
I've been on both ends of that scenario.
I am usually polite too but I CAN NOT stand when I hold a door and there is no thank you which happens a lot because most people are on their phones. I have also whispered loudly your welcome. I will think twice now after your encounter. BTW - I am far from a trophy :)
There's this librarian at our local library and for as long as we've been here (10+ years)he has never so much as smiled or spoken a friendly word. I always try to prompt him by asking questions or saying witty things, but he is impervious to my magic. Last time I checked out some books I failed (once again) to engage him, so when I gathered up my books I said very nicely, "Thank you!" I stood and waited for an answer but he gave up nothing. So I said, with my lips closed like I was a ventriloquist, and in a Mickey Mouse voice, "You're welcome!!"
Was that bitchy?
SSC - Botox = goodness.
Grandma J. - Guess who was walking out today as I was walking in? Of course! I laughed and told her that this was going to be a running joke...
Daniella - Don't ruin my fun. TROPHY!
Denise - Bitchy? No. Excellent? Yes!
Honestly, I have far too many of these moments ... I have a way of letting my mouth run sometimes, when I should either be quiet, or address the situation in a different manner. Thankfully, my wife has been helping me with this, and I'm getting better, I swear!
I think we all do that from time to time. I like to view those moments as reminders that I don't hold open doors, etc. to hear "thank you", I do it because it's the polite thing to do.
Then I play video games to release my pent up aggression.
It's a guy thing...
Los - Would your wife be willing to help me?
Joe - You're right... it's not about getting the thanks, it's about helping someone out... which I think I remember most of the time, but decide to forget in the instance where it can haunt me all through my daughter's elementary education!
Shit - yes that happened just last year. Some women was picking up her kids in her suburban and she decided that she was going to stop in the middle of the lane and chat with another mom. I was soo pissed that I started to honk my horn and ride her ass.
Turns out I know her - she's a PTO mom - she'll probably be at the next meeting.
And you know what, I don't give a shit. I should propose a rule about blocking traffic just to be a bitch. *sigh* I'm screwed.
I had a similar experience at daycare when my 12 year old was 2... I became very close friends with a woman I thought was a complete bitch. Who knew?
She is still my buddy though our kids are in separate schools in separate cities... she will be a life long friend and I don't regret for one moment being a bitch and calling her out for being a bitch. Mutual bitchiness was a great foundation for our friendship....
No regrets!!! Live big and forgive yourself -- sometimes people need to be called out a little bit!
Everyone has those moments. They exist to remind us that the world is a small place!
Heh heh, I have done the "You're welcome" bit myself!
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