Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Good Morning!


Please notice the time stamp on this post - not an error... I am up, for the second night in a row, at the most ridiculous of hours because the dog, the very same dog I recently took up for, has decided that a pee at 2 am is de rigueur.

Hugh can sleep through anything, a fact which I could document in excruciating detail, beginning in 1993 with our first puppy, leading into 1996 and the birth of our first child, right up until this morning in 2008 when he, for the second night in a row, simply turned over and ignored the whimpering of his chihuahua.  His chihuahua who needs to go out and relieve his tiny and clearly worthless dog bladder.

Unfortunately, and my guess is this is a sign of age and most likely insanity, once awakened, I am incapable of going back to sleep... and so I wander the house, watching random Hallmark channel movies and contemplating the purchase of infomercial fitness equipment.

Last night, before bed, I said to him, "Listen, if Jones pulls another wee hours of the morning stunt, you need to get up and let him out, I need to get some sleep."

His interpretation of said statement must have been, "Listen, if you hear Jones sniveling, roll over and put a pillow over your head and continue to slumber, my precious darling."

We must have a language barrier.  

And with that language barrier on his end comes a polite customs barrier on mine... if he can't get the message, when I say it loudly and clearly, perhaps the 3 am load of laundry I am a running will get my point across.

I am now also considering leaving the light on in the bathroom and the door open... 

Passive Aggressive much?

16 comments:

Ava's family said...

Put a pair of sneakers in the dryer....He WILL get your point. =)

Joannah said...

Notice the time stamp on my comment...

We are awakened at 5:30 am EVERY morning by our dog, who insists on eating her breakfast and taking a potty break at that time. No matter that's it's summer vacation and that my husband and I would like to sleep in once in a while. And, like you, I have a hard time getting back to sleep once I get up with the dog.

I will have to be fair and acknowledge that my husband gets up with the dog as often as I do, though - just not after two margaritas the night before (ahem).

Oh, well...

furiousBall said...

i say you do what any frat boy would do. draw a mustache on him while he's sleeping. a big handlebar one

jenontheedge said...

I tend to have a lot of sleepless nights, so I understand completely.

We went through a spate of being awakened by a five year old at about 2 a.m. After a couple of nights of me handling the situation, I looked at my husband and said, "Tonight, you're on." Then I looked at the child in question and told her that Daddy was her designated parent that night. And then, when 2 a.m. rolled around, I ignored the situation completely.

Marisa said...

I've been known to "revenge shop" when really annoyed.

dgm said...

I used to have those nights when I'd wake up and not be able to get back to sleep until right before my 4:45 a.m. alarm. And then I found magnesium supplements, and now I sleep like Hugh.

Maybe it's Jones, not Hugh, who needs the behavior adjustment? Or maybe you need to secrete yourself away for afternoon naps? (I highly recommend them.)

Los said...

What you need to do is find a PBS station rerunning some old Bob Ross painting shows ... the guy had such a smooth and relaxing sound, that I'd fall asleep 5 minutes into his painting, always failing to see how he created his masterpieces.

Joe said...

Hold on. I can't see how your husband could have interpreted your statement any other way. Why can't women ever just say what they mean? ;)

Grandma J said...

two words: Doggy Door!

Red Dirt Mummy said...

Oh yes, we've had a similar situation the last few nights but it's been with the two year old - the dog sleeps outside and throught the night thank goodness! After the first three times Hubby was feeling the sharp point of my elbows - he's on hol's at the moment, he can share ;)

Anonymous said...

It must be in the XY chromosome!

mrsmogul said...

Wow I can't imagine having a dog(s) AND kids! I never had a pet cause my parents didnt want to walk it!

SabineM said...

Fab post.....I have a dog (10 years old Bernese) who does that to me at times. I also have those conversations with him, but DOES HE LISTEN!?!?!
;-))
How was Disney?
I couldn't make it, I have a 14 year old with a bad back and HAD TO take her to the doctor who was going on a three week vacation today! How dare he!?!?
Hope you had fun. TELL ME more about Samoa. ALL MY PLANS are not working out....

Sarah O. said...

I'd simply leave the back door open a crack so the dog could let himself out. And set rat traps.

Shelley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shelley said...

Maybe the screaming kid could spend the night ...with Jones.

THAT would wake Hugh up.

:)