Remember the FALL from last week? Well, fun times ahead because it's actually a bit worse! Turns out I sprained my knee which is awesome! And because I take coumadin the bruising has been so pretty and swollen and wow, all that excess blood has to pool somewhere and do you know where that somewhere is? It's in my foot. So my right foot is too fat for real shoes and that means flip flops... even to the wedding I am going to this weekend... the wedding where I will be wearing my dressy flip flops! And guess what else? It hurts all the time... like a mean little baby. And it's going to take weeks to heal completely... again, awesome! And yesterday, at the orthopedist's, he drained the very large and very sore and very disgusting hematoma on said knee and do you know how a hematoma is drained? With a very fucking large needle!
And then I fainted.
No, not really, but I have fainted a few times in my life and the signs are this - everything goes to a point, I start sweating and drooling... but, hello, can't faint because must pick children up from school! So, when the Dr. asks, "Are you all right? " and all those symptoms are there, I lie and say, "OH YES!" and bury face in exam table pillow and repeat, "Dontthinkaboutit, don'tthinkaboutit" again and again... When it's over, I wobble to the car and inhale the remains of yesterday's flat Diet Pepsi.
And then I was like, I talked myself out of fainting... I am magical!
Ok, not really with that either.
So, have a good weekend and I'll talk to you all on Tuesday because we are leaving for Seattle this morning at 7 am... thanks JetBlue! Crack-of-Dawn or Too-Late-in-the-Day were our flight time choices and I look forward to waking my kids up at 4:30... I think they'll be delightful, no?
Jones says, Do not worry Mamacita, I will sleep on the pillows while you are gone.