Monday, October 30, 2006

Oooohhh... Contest!

roses are red
violets are blue
my laptop is broken
and the guy at the genius bar* is an asshole
laptop battery
broken maybe explosive
and the guy at the genius bar is an asshole
there was a ibook from mac
who made interneting fun and a snap
but one day it stopped working
and i started hurting
and the guy from the genius bar is an asshole
Now, clearly my attempts suck and so I want to hear yours... post your own poem about my broken computer in the comments section*... winner gets a copy of this book!
* The "Genius Bar" is the in-store tech support for Apple.
* Contest runs for you know, a few days-ish.


Los said...

There once was a girl with a laptop

Who got real upset when it cracked up.

She went to the shop

But the guy was a sop.

So she left the poor full all smacked up.

Eh - the best I could do.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Funny timing, you hating your Mac Book so much right now. Does this mean I should stick with my PC? :)

Um, a limerick... Okay, this one isn't for the kiddies.

'There once was a girl from Nantucket (work with me here)

Whose MacBook was broke, she said "F*ck it!"

She bought a brand new PC

And shouted "At least it works. Yippee!"

And told the guy at the genius store to suck it.'

Okay, so in a warped reality you might trade in your Mac for a PC, but it rhymed better.

Becky said...

lol i love the 1st one

Melissa said...

Ok, my comment got eaten.

I am not a poet, so I won't even try. But to the people above, Macs on their worst day are still better than PCs. Trust me on this as I use both.

Kristin, I hope yours is fixed soon. Oh and your question at my place cracked me up. You live in the boonies. ;)

Mel said...

I cried 'til my eyes were all red;
My laptop, alas, it was dead.
I'm probably being too soft
o'er a 'puter that's nipples aloft
But it's my little laptop, you see;
And it meant happy blogging to me.
And for making it all such a hassle,
Genius Bar Guy, you're an asshole.

Lisa said...

I'm too high on cold meds to try. SOrry. But these poems are great thus far.

Colleen said...

I once had a laptop named Mac
Who acted like he was on crack
He needed a fix and he needed it fast
But the Genius Bar Guy was blowing smoke up my ass
So then I was left with jack!

Sandy said...

Ok, here's my off the top quick entry...

Kristen’s laptop is broken,
The guys at Genius Bar must be smokin’
They need to get on the ball
And give that Mac an overhaul

What a shame
To keep her out of the game
Cuz without her wit
Readers are left in a twit

Hope it's fixed soon!

carrie said...

My laptop is broken

It makes me want to cry

And the genius who thinks he can fix it

Can take it in the pie!


Ann said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ann said...

Let me try again, I didn't like the last one...

There once was a laptop that sucked
It caused Kristin all sorts of buck

She sure wasn't happy
As she mourned for ole' Lappy
And ranted to Genius Bar guy

He sure didn't listen
as she screamed that girl..Kristin
To Fix her dear old friend.

One more time he avoided her eye
And Kristin was on the loose

No more waiting or screaming
At last it was time
And she kicked his sorry Caboose!!

Jodie said...

The genius bar guy is a d*ck

People like that make me sick

Referrals are late

I'm so filled with hate

Why would Apple employ such a pr*ck?

s@bd said...

you fully have enough material here to write a book. or perhaps a commercial to counter the genius ones Mac's doing right now.

"Hi, I'm a Mac"
"And I'm a PC"

Those a freaking brilliant.

Even if the guy from the genius bar is an asshole.

Michelle said...

I don't have a poem, but the guy at the genius bar was an asshole to us too! Possibly the same guy? :)

Nicki said...

my cleverness runneth out, but can I help vote?

And by the way, you must forward the winning limerick to Mac and the particular Genious Bar where guy a**hole works!!!

Angry Dad said...

I had a computer, it died, it died.
The poor old motherboard, she fried, she fried.
They said they'd fix it, they lied, they lied.
All shop repairers are assholes, denied, denied.

Kristi said...

With heavy heart
and pained fingers
I threw the dammed machine
at the wall
'Foul Apple!' cried I
Foul apple, foul mac, foul, foul, foul.

The end.

J.D. said...

Laptop, laptop, keys once so useful to tap
Now you're naught but a lump of plastic and crap
Once you were my constant companion and joy
And now you're useful as doorstop or dog toy
Once you were there for me, data you did process
You were well worth that huge price of excess
And now, e'en broken, you're no longer my star,
But you're still smarter than that guy in the Genius Bar.

Princess in Galoshes said...

There once was was a man from Nantucket,
Who packed all his things in a bucket.
He got a job as a salesman stat
And sold Kristin a bad Mac
And consequently got told to go suck it!

Princess in Galoshes said...

Aw crap. I should have read Mrs. Chicky's comment before entering mine. Now I look like at copycat. Oh well, hers is better, anyway! Sorry, Mrs. Chicky!

Nikki said...

I have a pole for that guy who was an asshole.

He works at the Genius Bar....I want to hit him with my car.

My PC went PP and it didn't please me.

So I called the Superheros of Help...I hope they choke on kelp.

I have a pole for that guy who was an asshole

I have a place to stick it to make him chirp like a cricket.

Okay - it's really bad...sorry - but I'm not much of a poet.


dodo said...

lap top:
crap. stopped.

genius bar:

no transaction.

Server status:
head up anus

Gracencameronsmomy said...

I just read all the "entries" and I love jodi's, too! so funny!

dodo said...