Ok, you are never going to believe what happened to me today! Never! You know why you will never guess? Because it is so fucking crazy and stupid and NOT in a funny, interesting moment of life kind of a way... and, to top it all off, I am pretty sure it is all the lovely Hugh's fault...
Here's the story:
I got pulled over for having a taillight out... a fix it ticket right? Ok, so a bummer and annoying and, you know, hoping no one I know drives by... but, none the less, just a fix it ticket. Then, of course, the officer wants to see my registration and proof of insurance. What do you think happened? I had 6 years worth of "proof" but not this years! Not 2006! So, that becomes a fix it ticket as well and I am pissed, but not really, but sort of because I have to actually go to court to show them that I have had the taillight repaired and that I was in fact, insured on the day I was pulled over... more of a hassle...
BUT, then he looks at Eva and then at me and then at my license and then does the whole "look over" thing again and then this conversation happens:
Cop Ma'am, is that child your daughter?
Self Yes.
Cop Can you prove it?
WTF??!!!
Self Uh, yeah, but not like, this second. I am thinking, Eva, baby, call me Mommy!
Cop Well, she seems like she is your daughter but I like to caution parents of children of other ethnicities to carry proof on them... just in case!
Just in case you have to prove your child is your child? How do I prove any of my kids are mine and that I haven't just snatched them off the street? I tell you Internet, I was freaking out.
I am curious to know what you all think...
And just how, you wonder, is all of this Hugh's fault? He noticed the taillight was out on Saturday.
***
I have to let the lovely Hugh off the hook as he is very upset and feeling great anger towards law enforcement in general...
19 comments:
Wow, my first gut reaction is that this makes me super mad. If that child had been caucasian (I am assuming you are caucasian for arguments sake) he never would have even thought to ask you if you were that child's parent. So, adoptive parents have to carry our child's passports when we go to the grocery store now?
So, there I am on my high horse and I know he was trying to "keep safe" all the little children of the world. But I can't help feeling just a little wee bit pissed as an adoptive parent myself.
That is obsurd!
Taillight out = baby snatcher. Huh?
Who carries proof that their children belong to them...I am pretty suspicious that his intentions may have been a bit suspect.
I am totaly shocked that he said that..
Amanda
Kristen, that is utterly amazing! I certainly wouldn't be able to "prove" to any cop that the vanload of my kids were mine. My son looks something like me (poor guy), but none of the others really do.
I can see the altruistic reasoning (and I like to think the best of people), but it's still sad that might be the direction things are headed. Even if you wanted to take the "better safe then sorry" route, did the cop say what constitutes proof? A library card? A school ID? A birth certificate? An adoption certificate? A photo ID? A family photo?
This pisses me off, and I just wrote how glad I was that they "carded" me at the gym when picking up my daughter....but this is different! She was in your car!!! Why should we have to proe to people who our children are? I think it was just out of line...Now, I have gotten strange looks when I am holding my daughter under my arm screaming and taking her out of a store...a little more understnadable!!
Lisa
Wow, that one kind of shocks me a little. I'm not sure I would have reacted in a properly kind and solicitous manner... ;-)
Like a previous comment stated, I like to think the best of people, but, I have to say I am really shocked by this! My first reaction is to suggest that you file a complaint against the officer, but, my second thought is that it won't get you anywhere. I am sorry that you had to experience that, and I know that I will put a copy of my daughter's passport in my purse.
I guess that's what being "racially profiled" means.
Not really shocking to me, but then....
That's insane! How does a broken taillight equivocate with child abduction? Unfortunately, law enforcement personnel see the worst, and they consequently have a jaded view of life and people.
PROOF????? I am speechless...
Lisa
Gee whiz, it's not like you were even transporting her across state lines or anything! Even if she doesn't look like you, hasn't the officer ever heard of adoption?? Sheesh! Cops are getting crazy in this country.
I remember getting pulled over once and getting accused of being hopped up on meth because my eyes were bloodshot (even though I explained to the officer that although I've never once used drugs or even been drunk that I'm hypertensive and diabetic and that I had nearly died a couple of days ago from it, so excuse me for having a little red-eye!) I had committed the unpardonable sin of letting my license lapse, and so therefore I had to sit locked in the backseat of his patrol car while he illegally searched my vehicle for drugs and guns. Fortunately he didn't find my blood sugar medicine or he might've shot me on site!
I'd hate to think I live in a country where you have to produce documentation that a child belongs to you on the whim of some cowboy cop.
How the hell did he expect you to "prove it"? Jeeze!!!
I am glad to see that I wasn't being overly sensitive... it was, without a doubt, one of those moments where you sort of realize how much authority the police have... I mean, I don't, as a rule, have a lot of contact with cops... but yesterday, I thought, this fucking yahoo could TAKE my kid, right now, because I can't prove, on the spot with whatever documentation is acceptable, that she is my child???? What kind of logic is that?
My follow up plan is to ask the judge, when I "appear" to prove my repair and insurance, what he/she deems acceptable proof of parentage.
Prove it?
Easy. From my large purse I would have calmly pulled out a diaper, a package of "Wet Ones", one of two sippy cups a little baggie of snacks and pops as part of my regular travel with Gianna.
And while Gianna's Chinese and I'm not, I would have suggested that the officer take note to our matching (cheap) ladybug necklaces at which time I would have pointed out, "She'll never have my eyes, but she's gaining my ability to accesorize!"
And in asking if she were my daughter I might have felt the need to brag, "Yes, and isn't she the most beautiful creature you've seen!?" I'm certain with Eva in the backseat (or Gianna or any of our Chinese daughters) the answer could only be YES!!!!
No way. Get out! We have to carry around proof that our children belong to us?! I ask you, what is this world coming to?!
Sorry you had to endure that! It's stressful enough to be pulled over. Then to have the "scare" that you can't prove your daughter is yours to a police officer...!!! What a day!
Well well well! The long arm of the law reaches out again! Now in my honest opinion, you always look guilty, so I'm really not surprised that you were taken for an abductor. Let's face it - you have a history of friend abduction (Ye Olde Croucher)...but I digress...
It seems only appropriate to accept that the zealousness of this police officer caused you pain, suffering, possible embarrassment, resentment and anger. HOWEVER, if it was J or J in the back of another "racially profiled" car, a few years ago...when they weren't really of speaking age, and the cops asked the driver for proof of "ownership" and saved them from certain peril by doing so.... (okay I'm being dramatic, but it's in my nature, my apologies). Point is, he was trying to ensure the safety of E-J, without regard for your feelings. Right? Probably not. Helpful? Not in this instance. I think it's Hugh's fault too...you needed tail light fluid ages ago!
It seems a tragic waste of police time - let's all chant "Why aren't you chasing the bad guys"..ready.. One, Two , Three...
And, another thing, my blog will feature a story from yesteryear soon, involving LBPD - an arrest, racially motivated that stopped traffic and turned heads. It's all about me me me.
Poor Hugh. He is so cute and I am glad you let him off the hook. What a scary experience. Every cop out there acts like they are on TV! I will be interested to know what the judge says about proof.
Fucking wanker cop pigs
Of all the people to suspect of an Amber Alert....
xxxx
poor Kiki
Unbelievable. That is outrageous. I think about things like this in airports, and usually carry passports. But for crying out loud, in my car? That is crazy!
Hey Internet,
I love you all very much because where I angered, you angered as well... and I have felt very supported and thank you!!
Here is where I am with the whole burden of proof...
I have xeroxed a copy of all my children's passports and I have tucked them into my wallet because this is the world we live in and you never know who or what is going to happen...
I'll let you know what the judge says...
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