Thursday, January 19, 2006

I Blew It

Despite the promise that Thursday was going to be the official "Trash" day here at Eva Las Vegas... well, I lied. Schedules confuse me and I want to post about my son, who is definitely not trash, so forget it. Trash for another time.

Yesterday, Jack, who is my 2nd son and therefore, the Jan Brady of our family, informed me that when Eva came home he felt like he had, "fallen really, really badly and actually hurt my knee... like, I broke my knee Mom, and no one cared."


Then I died. I died the horrible death of realizing that I totally handled something really, really, badly and in doing something so fucking badly, I hurt my child and now, I am dead.

Jack was actually quite mellow about it and, as I honestly apologized to my beloved son for my lack of sensitivity (who would have thought that Brad Pitt and I would have something in common? Hello? Sensitivity chip? Missing!) he said, "It's Ok Mama, I would miss her if she were gone and it's Ok."

So, I died again because he sorted this out by himself and despite the fact that I really did try. People, I did! I thought I handled the transistion from family of 4 to family of 5 "really well" for all parties involved... except that I obviously didn't.

Is there anything worse than failing your kids? I really, really, don't think so.


Northern Stargirl said...

Your son sounds as though he will be just fine. Children surprise us with their strengths.

Anonymous said...

Oh Kristin.

I know just what that feels like. It breaks your heart in a million little peices. It is the very worst feeling in the world.

My youngest boy holds things in, and I so worry about this as well.

I don't know what the secret is to preparing these kids to keep them from feeling slighted. If anyone knows the answer, I'd like to hear it.


collene said...

That was a brutally honest email.

Ana NYC said...

The last I read your blog was Dec. 30th. Why? Because I added the blog to my favorites and after the 30th it didn't take me to the most recent blog. I'm not blog savvy - sorry!

So...Happy New Year, congrats on the baptism and the new addition to the family.

My favorite photo of Eva is the one of her picking her nose - I'll send you one of me doing the same.

As for Lindsey - who cares about her or anyone else in Hollywood?! Celeb gossip twin?? Must be a "left coast" thing.

As for Anonymous - GET A LIFE!

I love your mom - remember she "yelled" at us bridesmaids on your wedding day? And it was ALL CHRISTINE'S FAULT! "oh, I have my period..."
Your mommy loves you Kristin!

Oh, and an ex of mine peed on his bedroom floor after a night of drinking. Men can be so gross.

As for your middle child, he's a smart, sweet boy, be happy he told you that story, not sad. It told me so much about him.

What was I doing ten years ago? Counting down the days to my first wedding... so glad you were there for me with everything.

I'm all caught up, right? What MAC products do you want - my way of making it up to you for not posting to your blog. :)

Miss you - kisses.

PS - Get rid of the Santa thing.

Anonymous said...

Children can simply break your heart, but I agree with the previous poster and think you should be happy he was able to share his feelings with you. He obviously knows how much you love him. We want to protect our children from everything, but sometimes they still get hurt. I have a daughter who is 4 and I am very concerned about her adjustment to her new sister.

Tori said...

Jack is fine it is just that you take comments from him harder because he is Jack (your little Mini Me) who was stuck to you for such a long time like velcro till just a year or so before Diva arrived. He has a special bond with you....
And...dare I say it... he does he have the Jack - ever so slightly exaggerate things - disease, much like ALL of my children.
However... it did sound heart felt none the less but this is NOT a failure on your part. Believe me, Jack would have felt that even if you had done things differently. This was just Jack's adjustment to Jun Jun and he dealt with it in an internal way. I am sure if he had felt sssssssooooooooooo bad at the time, he would have mentioned it. He is not a child really to suffer in silence. It seems to me that he has just put words to his feelings - quite eloquently too - I might add, and that is great.
He is so much tougher than you think. He is a star and he'll be fine. I just love that kid and you MAMMA... you rock. Do not think anymore on this. You did great throughout the whole thing. It was very harmonious - mostly because the boys were in China to meet her and so were really involved.
Ask any child how they feel when a new sibling comes along...
Faron will tell you that she bit Hannah's toes everytime I turned my back...
And Jack simply lost his knees...
Different strokes my friend...