Wednesday, September 22, 2004

G.O.O.P. (Mamarazzi 9.23.08)

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Dear Gwyneth,

We here at Mamarazzi think you have pretty hair. We also think you have beautiful children and a talented husband.
We've even liked some of your movies... The Talented Mr. Ripley comes to mind... all those skirts and head scarves... lovely!

However, we're not so keen on this new website of yours. Mostly because we find it a bit, shall we say, obnoxious, of you to think that you would be our go-to gal for "nourishing our inner aspect".

For starters, we aren't quite sure we have an inner aspect. Is it near the G-spot?

Also, "the recipe you made up this week"? Is it homemade pizza which needs to be baked in an outdoor wood burning oven?

Finally, "I love being in spaces that are clean and feel nice".

Do you consider that a radical statement?

Oh, Gwynnie, we've just realized where your Inner Aspect is located... and it's nothing a high colonic can't cure.

xoxo,

Mamarazzi

9 comments:

jenontheedge said...

Oh my, she really is quite full of herself, isn't she?

This is essentially how Martha Stewart got started, so in about 20 years, will Gwyneth too spend some time in prison?

Seriously though, this sounds a lot like someone who has just come through a few years of intense parenting (babies and toddlers) and now suddenly doesn't know what to do with herself.

Anonymous said...

curiousity got the best of me and i signed up for the newsletter! i saw a snippet of her on oprah with mario botalo (luv him).

nini

Jill said...

Oh Gwennie is so full of herself. Must be all that hanging out with Madonna and Oprah that did her in. Pretty hair, though... you're right about that!

Peggy Sez.. said...

jenontheedge is right about the "full of herself" part..That is what the colonic is for...Right?

insomniac said...

my 'inner aspect ratio' is 6:6 'cause i'm a square!

class factotum said...

"My life is good because I am not passive about it?"

Not because she won the genetic lottery, doesn't have to worry about money, and has healthy children?

Spring said...

I can't even watch movies she's in. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

GAG.
-Bex

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