Tuesday, November 09, 2010

She's Remarkably Well Adjusted...


I picked Eva up from her dance class last night and as we walked out her little friend, Lila (Lily?) caught up with us and asked Eva, "Is this your mom?"

I smiled at her and said, that yes, I was the mom and introduced myself to her dad (who was, um, 100 years old) and as we were all being chummy and friendly Lila (Lily) said, "Eva, I thought your mom would be brown like you are."

Well... well well well.

And I only say Well well well because it's been a damn long time since someone has asked what is essentially an adoption question and it definitely hasn't happened in front of Eva in YEARS and I was suddenly flummoxed and wanted to make sure that my answers were brief and worded "correctly".

And so I looked at Eva and back at the kid and said, "Nope, I'm not."

Lila (Lily) Why not?

Me Well, Eva is Chinese and I am not.

Lila (Lily) Then how are you a mother?

Me SHUT THE HELL UP, KID! I am her mother because Eva is my daughter and we became a family in China.

Lila (Lily) Is anyone else from China?

Eva Nope. Just me. Too bad.

I then beat a retreat and once we were in the car I turned to Eva and asked her if she was okay with the conversation we just had... was there anything in it she would have liked me to answer differently or did she just want to chat about it...blah blah blah???

She looked at me and smiled and laughed and said, "What? Is it a secret?"

Eva is awesome.

And that is all I have to say on the subject.

11 comments:

Gracencameronsmomy said...

I think you handled it perfectly! except, i might have told her to shut the hell up...kidding! Grace told me today that she wished her hair was blonde like mine and all of her friends(which is not true). I was very sad and before I could think of a thoughtful response, her friend said "when you grow up, you can color it blonde, like my mom!" she seemed very happy with this solution...sigh

Kristin said...

Lisa - I think we're heading into more of these types of conversations... & while we're hemming and hawing and trying to come up with the most sensitive and thoughtful answers, the 7 years olds will just lay it on the line and everyone will be satisfied!

Los said...

My wife has an older brother and sister who are twins and were both adopted ... obviously, at their age, they don't care anymore ...

Gracencameronsmomy said...

I should mention that I am adopted...never met my birth parents, know very little. and I would like to think that I turned out just fine!

Jen on the Edge said...

She rocks. So do you. :-)

Shelley said...

Yes, she is. You're not so bad yourself.

Well handled. Curious as to what the old Dad was doing while all this transpired. Any sign of discomfort from having to listen to his child grill you and EJ?

Kristin said...

Shell - he was seriously SO OLD so maybe deaf or something....

Ninotchka said...

She is better than awesome. As are you.

Ninotchka said...

@Lisa - My kids have said the same thing and they're not adopted. I think it's just what kids do. They want to look different or like their friends/siblings, whatever. Anna Sofia wishes she had straight brown hair like Elle and Elle sometimes says she wants to have curly hair.

rachel's life. said...

she certainly is awesome!!!

carlene said...

family is family no matter the colors or origins. so you handled it quite well and your daughter was very fun. lol "is it a secret" innocence.

p.s. i love your stories they are super funny