Thursday, October 23, 2008

(Not) Perimenopause and Me


So I went and saw The Lady Doctor, Doctor for Ladies and now I have some f*cking expensive homeopathic cream and some supplements but what I really wanted was DRUGS and PILLS and PLEASE, but no, instead I got the old, "Let's not forget you are a 39 year old woman with a cardiologist in her life..." and I was all, "Cardiwhaaa?" because I often like to forget that I am a 39 year old woman with a cardiologist. (tiny for forgetting)

My levels were all normal-ish... and while I was hoping for something glaring like a beacon of, "lookee here, this is what is wrong!" obviousness, it's always a good moment to get negative test results on any disease beginning with the letter "c".

I was so hoping for a prescription to that new birth control pill with the jazzy bastardized Twisted Sister jingle... Yeah, I'm not gonna take it!  Clears zits and bad moods and bloating and quite frankly that all sounds right up my particular alley of need.

But, still as I am symptomatic (perhaps the fact I was sweating in her 45 degree office backed up my claim) and so for a month I am use these magic beans this cream at night, because it is going to relaxxxx me soooo much that I will rub it on and omg.... sleeeeppppppzzzzzzz.

We'll see.

Also, in other news, 3 hours with Svetlana (the Ukrainian supermodel hairdresser) have made me a brunette and not one damn fool member of my family noticed.

And the Santa Ana winds are bringing on the headaches.... and not in a Def Leppard kind of way.

15 comments:

Chris O said...

This would probably not be a good time to mention that I had a couple of bad nights being too hot and I thought it was night sweats until I just made "radiator man" move over. I went through menopause in a couple of months of mood swings and I've been nice and sweet (ok maybe not sweet) but feeling just fine and without that monthly visitor for a couple years now.

But my sister on the other hand had 16 years of hot flashes and mood swings until they pulled out the plumbing at age 55.

jenontheedge said...

You are a brunette again? Do we get to see photos?

Kristin said...

Chris O - Imagine me reaching through the screen and scratching your eyes out. ;-)

Jen - Sure... it's Halloween, why not scare the Internet!

Amy Y said...

Ick.
I say today you get some retail therapy and a nice stiff drink to take your mind off of yesterday's doctor visit!

I want to see pics, too! :)

Kayce said...

Where are the pictures?? The hair not the dr. visit. ;)

furiousBall said...

this Deg Leppard... is this a Def Leppard cover band?

kris said...

god in heaven why did my bloglines freaking delete you for eff's sake? i need you, man.

finally.

laughter. your pain is like my medicine. sorry about that. hope all that cream... helps. perimenopause is a bitch. my skin is flaking off, it's like... snowing in my bathroom.

LemonySarah said...

GAD, what we go through just so we can birth a couple of kids.

Damn California (and Colorado) doctors - a nice midwestern doc would have you on all the prescriptions you could ever desire.

Issas Crazy World said...

oHHH, I just realized there are now two things about LA that I don't miss. The 405 and Santa Ana winds. Thanks, Kristin.

Boys never notice hair, but I'm a little shocked the EvaJun didn't notice. You need to work with her. :)

Kristin said...

Amy - Today I cook and clean because tomorrow we Dinner Party!

Kayce - I need to take some... it's cute, but I hate it.

Van - Damn you and your keen keen eyes!

Kris - Oooo, flakey skin... I don't have that delightful symptom (YET!).

Sarah - Really? Because I have cousins in the Midwest and maybe it's time I visit them... and their GP.

Issa - Well, I'll give her a pass because I had it pulled up in one of those "I just changed my hair and I hate it" ponytails.

mimi's mommy said...

Hi Kristin,
Sorry about your girly parts. I'm Jekyl and Hyde-so bad that I don't even know if I'm good or bad anymore.Sad, sad, sad. Thanks for visiting my pseudo-blog. I got the pink or black size large tank top. Except it was a long sleeve white size medium, v-neck tee. I love it anyhow. Very cute. If I feel nice and brave I'll show a pic. Thanks

Pollyanna said...

Okay, first of all, we need a picture of the hair.

Second, I hope that the cream stuff helps. I am 38 and think I am part of the peri set too. Let me know if the cream helps and if you can sleep, cuz I'll see if my doc will hook me up with some too! Is there a side effect of weight loss? For me and my 6 way's not for you and your svelte self :)

Anonymous said...

I think I know what cream you are talking about and it really does help! Good luck!

Los said...

I remember when I had my wisdom teeth pulled, they gave me percoset ... it gave me an upset stomach, but I didn't care for some reason ...

Amanda said...

Dude, I so needed this. And yes, pictures please!