Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Let's Not Talk About The Election...

Instead, tell me how you handle arguments with your spouse.

Are you the giver (me) or receiver of the silent treament?

A yeller, a pouter a cool cucumber?

Do you lash out via shopping sprees or golf weekends?

I'm making a list.

P.S. Hugh is in the clear... this is more of my nosiness and part of my Evil Master Plan a little something I am tinkering with...

19 comments:

furiousBall said...

i love being divorced and not having an answer to this.

jenontheedge said...

Silent treatment? Surely you jest. Oh no, MY husband hears all about what's on my mind when I'm upset with him.

Such as yesterday, when he and the builder made an decision yesterday that now cannot be undone and I'm not happy with what they decided.

Why yes, dinner was quite the happy affair last night.

So, um, what did Hugh do? Or is this related to our earlier emails about Mr. Californication?

Kristin said...

Van - You're such a "glass is half full" bunny!

Jen - What happened? I think I need to go check out the house blog...

furiousBall said...

Kristin - I'm fine with being a bunny, we hump a lot.

Amy Y said...

I do a combination of silent treatment until he makes the mistake of asking what's wrong and follow it up with some retail therapy. And occasionally a Starbucks chocolate chip cookie. Oh, my thighs.

mimi's mommy said...

Depends on the day. Mostly I just let him know exactly how right I am. Until he tells me how purty I am when I'm angry and how he loves the fire in my eyes. Then, of course he is right.

Carol

Anonymous said...

I am a yeller and a thrower. He sulks and acts like a big baby.

Ninotchka said...

I'm cool and collected. I don't yell, I don't throw, I don't slam doors. I'm also a big talker which is annoying as hell to him, I think. I will talk a fight to death. heh I wouldn't say I'm a shopping spree retaliator but, sure, if I need a little pick me up, I've been known to splurge in small ways. Never something outrageous. Just a treat.

Los said...

I'm stubborn, and I let things boil up before I address them - it's not a good trait, but it's me ... my wife likes to address things right away (however, she's not always right).

Chris O said...

We never fight because my husband never makes mistakes because he thinks about everything he says or does. This is basicly the most irritating thing about my hubby next to the bike parts all over the family room. He never feels the need to fight because he really and truly believes that as long as what ever he does or says, he does it without malice, and it means he has done the right thing. I can get mad and try to fight but he won't respond and is confused on why I have a problem. He also won't apologize, as he feels if he didn't intend to hurt my feelings or make me angry then he hasn't done anything wrong. If I'm upset, it's obviously my fault for not taking what he said/did as what he intended not what I got out of it. Rather frustrating at times.

After 15 years and getting thru menopause, I don't sweat it anymore. He is a wonderful, loving, fun, generous person and thats why I have the girl friends to vent to over lunch.

Joannah said...

I'm Italian and I act like it in a disagreement - much more vocal and emotional.

My sweet Filipino husband, on the other hand, is a lover not a fighter.

We usually get over things pretty fast when we do disagree. He's so agreeable most of the time that there's not much to fight about.

We don't discuss politics much because we don't see eye to eye.

dgm said...

Like Chris O and her spouse, we pretty much never fight. Part of it, I guess, is that if we sense a disagreement coming on that could build into something big, we'll always address it before it snowballs. At other times, if something pisses me off I won't lash out or yell. Instead, I'll disengage so I can take breaths and think about it. I try to pinpoint what exactly I'm angry about because I think anger is often a default emotion for fear or uncertainty or embarrassment or something else, and it's important (to me) to understand what that something else is so I can deal with it. In any event, time to cool will always make things better.

I know this makes you imagine that I must be a really annoying person to be in a fight with, and I'm sure that would be true if my spouse was not on the same wavelength. As it is, we're not so much vested in the emotional part of a disagreement, much less the idea of "winning"; it's more about finding a resolution because it feels so crappy to feel crappy.

Pollyanna said...

I'm all of the above...I yell, pout, and can be a cool cucumber. It all depends on how mad I am before we start fighting. How is that for a clear, concise answer? :)

rubyiscoming said...

I'm controlling. So is hubs. I'm an anal-retentive planner. Hubs is a "play it by ear" or "wait and see" guy.

Sure, we both have a temper on occasion...but we can both play the silent treatment card, too.

Luckily, we hardly argue.

And, shopping is serious business. no need to have "arguments" as an excuse - I'll shop if I'm happy or sad, mad or glad :)

Kristin said...

Kim -I used to be controlling, but then it got to be too much work... now I am a silent treatment giver but mostly because I can get ugly when pissed and it's best if I keep my mouth shut until I calm down.

Crouching Mother Hidden Diva said...

Cool as a cucumber...Icy stare...Silence loaded with acrimony...

And then, with spooky calm, I lay out in a very analytical manner HOW FUCKING WRONG HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jenn

gorillabuns said...

I'm a yeller, a pouter and then a silent treater.

I know, I'm so mature.

Issas Crazy World said...

I go back and forth between the silent treatment and wanting to argue with him. Depends on my mood and what we're fighting about.

And on how retarded he is being.

jennie said...

I do all of those things with the exception of the golf weekend. Although usually I don't do them all at once.