Saturday, September 13, 2008

These Are The Days


Aren't they... these are the days that mean something... the people that mean something and these are the things we fight for and strive for and these are the things that we want to go on... to be a part of and nurture and sometimes we behave as though it's such a sacrifice, an imposition, a strain... but what else is there?  What else could mean so much?  

I've spent a lot of time bemoaning the supremely selfish question of:  What am I going to do?? Pretty sure that's the type of dilemma many a person, let alone a mother, would enjoy... shall I go back to grad school?  Volunteer?  Redecorate?  Hardly the type of last breath anxiety to keep a girl up nights.

So, I'm putting on my big girl panties and growing up.  My children and maybe it's time I do as well... 


14 comments:

jenontheedge said...

Many mothers ask that same question at some point or the other. It's essentially "What are you going to be when you grow up?" -- only now it's "What are you going to be now that you're all grown up?"

I ask myself that on a regular basis. Even though I have a terrific job that I enjoy and everything else in my life is going well, I still ask "Is this it?" I don't mean that in a whiny, ungrateful way, but am genuinely asking "Is this what I'm meant to be doing or should I be thinking of other possibilities?"

Los said...

I ask myself on a semi-regular basis if I'm where I'm supposed to be ... I like my job and my life, but still ...

furiousBall said...

i'm putting on my big girl panties too and that should make for an interesting bike ride

Kristin said...

Jen - It's just taken me some time to realize how fortunate I am, be it through a series of wise decisions (hmmm?) or pure dumb luck (more likely) that I am in a position to ask and make the choice I want and not one I must...

Los - You and Hugh... I think I am older than you, but yeah... the closer to 40 the more fast and furious the asking.

Van - Make sure you opt for a cotton crotch - 20 miles is a long ride.

Ninotchka said...

I was where you are a couple of years ago. Should I work? Volunteer? Go back to writing for $? That's when I decided to pick up where I left off at school. It's not much, a class here, 2 or 3 at the most, but it's made a world of difference. And believe or not, there are still times when I wonder if I'm doing "enough." Life!

Pollyanna said...

I'm confused. . .what is happening here? What is going on?

Kristin said...

Jodi - Nothing in particular is going on... just a lot of transition... ugh.

Nino - I do like the idea of going back to school and finishing up some of the grad work I began... but, to be honest, I am scared my brain won't allow me the same type of academic success I once enjoyed.

carrie said...

You gotta find your bliss!

Shelley said...

These are the days my dear. And we are very blessed. So sit back and enjoy the ride. And pass the wine. :)

Kristin said...

Carrie - like Shelley, says, my bliss is often found in a bottle of wine, preferably shared with a couple of good friends!

rubyiscoming said...

Well put! I'm still struggling w/ the fact that many think I'll be a bad mother for keeping my job once we bring Ruby home. Even though I know that my being happy is critical to my success in raising a happy, healthy little girl.

I don't believe there is a "right" answer or a "wrong" answer.

No matter what, you do need things in your life that are important to Kristin....and Kristin alone.

You'll figure it out :)

Sarah O. said...

I vote for redecorating and martinis.

Amy Y said...

I say do it all... do a little bit of redecorating, a little bit of volunteering, a little bit of whatever sounds good until you find what feels right to you and then just go with that!

I'm still trying to find my big girl panties... and not sure I'll ever know what I want to be when I grow up. I still haven't decided if I'm even going to grow up.

Anonymous said...

The big girl panties can be unflattering, do you have any big girl thongs?