Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I Am Nothing But A Filthy Liar..

Because -

A) I have not taken down past posts.
because I don't really know how to save them forever if I do...

B) I have not posted on ELV.
because I am not comfortable there... it feels like a hotel room while this site feels like home.

C) I have no new title and no new "look".
because I haven't thought about it...

So, there you have it. I lie, people. Like a rug, like my pants are on fire, like my plants are for hire.

But, enough about me. How are you? Everything going well?

Ok, not enough about me.

We (and by "we" I mean, Hugh and myself and our good friends, Dan and Christy... children stayed with grandparents and stayed up late, ran with scissors and ate donuts for breakfast) just got back from Memphis and hello! What a fucking great city! All you Memphis people should knock off any sort of tourism pitch because many people will come to your city on the bluffs and not want to leave and, like poor Seattle, you will find yourself stuck with many horrible Californians who cannot believe the (ridiculously) low real estate prices and who appreciate your rather fast and loose smoking regulations.

Also, Beale Street does not smell like pee or vomit and that in itself makes you fabulous.

And you have Graceland! Graceland where, as I was being appropriately somber and reflective in the meditation garden, reading all the graves in the little backyard cemetery, my phone rang and currently it is set to Amy Winehouse singing, "You Know I'm No Good" which earned me many "hard" looks.

And the Civil Rights Museum, creepily located at the Lorraine Motel (or, as many call it, the place where MLK Jr. got shot) sort of made me feel bad and I wanted to go around to people with the disclaimer, "My parents fought for civil rights... they rocked the vote." but that seemed like it would be not only foolish but perhaps racist as well so I kept my mouth shut and tried to look suitable.

We stayed at the Peabody... where ducks rule... and really Memphis, here is where I am forced to tell you that the ducks are not so great... in fact, unless you are under the age of 4 or over the age of 80, you will probably agree with me. The only thing the ducks really have going for them is the fact that their presence is due to a drunken afternoon and a reprieve for some live decoys and that they live in a mini plantation on the 10th floor.

On the plus side, the Peabody has a bartender who makes a sort of mojito inspired martini and you can drink 5 (5!) of them before you remember that you are slugging down an awful fucking lot of liquor and maybe it's time for a glass of water.

You also have Elvis' tailor.

But as for the blog - who knows?

But right now, I am posting this.

It's all good.

*BTW - if you have been receiving multiple "invites" for ELV, I apologize... I was just tipped off to this rather annoying state of repetition. Also, I think I have gotten to everyone who has requested to be added to the site, if I missed you, please email me... I may have entered your address incorrectly, or simply missed the message. Thanks!

37 comments:

Los said...

I went to Nashville once, and didn't really like it so much.

On another note, I'm going to San Fran and Napa Valley for 5 days starting Saturday!

Kristin said...

See, you should have gone to Memphis... even Paul Simon says so.

Daniella said...

Hmmm, interesting - I'll have to add Memphis to our list of places to visit. The hubs doesn't like leaving SW Fl too much but we are heading to the Bahamas via boat for 10 days - so maybe Memphis one day :) My BF in highschool went to Memphis and wrote my name on some wall. I wonder if it is still there.

Chrissie said...

Ha! I'm so glad you couldn't stay away. Please come back again soon - you make me laugh.....

Damselfly said...

Huh. I don't think I've ever been there, as many times as I've been through/to Tennesee to visit family. I heard the Peabody duck thing was cute. Glad you had a great time!

Oh, btw, my brother and SIL are in China right now and have just met their daughter!

kim said...

hellloooooo californian who just moved up near seattle!! we have to go somewhereeeeeee lol

Mamma said...

It feels right to have you here.

Glad Memphis was fun!!

Anonymous said...

Okay - I never post, but I have to share how lame John can be and how out of touch we are with cool places to go. When he talked to Hugh the other night, and Hugh said he was "at" Memphis, John thought it was a restaurant/bar in Orange County. He then didn't believe me when I told him about the blog. I had to read him the details of the Peabody before he believed me! Sounds like you had a great time. We here in babyland are a bit jealous.

Anyhoo - glad Eva Las Vegas is back. Talk to you soon!
--Becky

Mel said...

WOOHOO!
Don't let the hecklers and morons chase you off your own blog. Stay! And spit in their eye! It's all just envy and spite. Envy and spite, I say! Woman, I am probably at the opposite end of the income and lifestyle spectrum from you, and yet somehow, even through my American Entitlement Complex, I can't bring myself to care about that. And neither does any normal person. Only the loons do. You sound exactly like the kind of person who would be a riot to hang out with, who would get all my jokes, and who would be a terrible influence as we egged each other on to do embarrassing, dumb things in public.
So yeah. Wealth and privilege and so-called "ruining" your beautiful Eva? Pfft.
You are awesome and funny and fun, and you will make me cry if you quit.
Don't make me cry! I turn red!

C.J. said...

Me lurves your filthy, lying arse right here at home!

Woohoo to Memphis.

L & J said...

I want to you stay right HERE!....I just don't like change!Alright, I'm just too damn lazy to email you to get the password. Then, I'd have to update your site on my blogroll....For the love of god, woman.....Stay put!!!

Oh, The Joys said...

No pressure, K. None.

Christina_the_wench said...

Now I have that song Walking in Memphis in my head. Gawd.

Your faithful readers don't care that you lie. We're here for whatever you wanna post. We're cool like that. ;)

Stephanie said...

I stayed at the Peabody seven or so years ago on business. I agree, Memphis is a great town!
Stephanie
www.forksandchopsticks.wordpress.com

Kayce said...

I'm ready to go! You should be a travel agent! Sure do miss you around here....

Becky said...

i loved memphis. i totally wanna go back again! beale street was fabulous.

Lisa said...

Hey, So great to hear you back.

Sounds like you had a great trip. YEAY!

Those drinks sound AWESOME by the way. :-)

Anonymous said...

Welcome back! Please stay, I've missed you and your stories!!

Slackermommy said...

I love Memphis too! Glad you are back.

Dan said...

No way! You're not a filthy liar. In fact, you look quite clean and well-groomed. Hugs. :)

Kristin said...

Oh Dan, your comment just begs for me to say, "I'm dirrrty"?

And also, Mel, my lovely friend, I will never make you cry!

Marisa M. said...

"Plants for hire" - you must watch Sponge Bob Squarepants!

Hope the kids didn't hurt themselves with the scissors and welcome back.

Jodi said...

Yeah, I wanna go on a road trip with you. And that's final. :)

Jodi said...

oh and I don't care where you post or what you post about, as long as you post, damnit.

carrie said...

Oh, I soooo want to go to Memphis someday!

And as for Seattle's "loose" smoking restricitons? Yeah, try telling that to the crowd huddled in the rain 25 feet from any door of any establishment. It's just plain weird, but then again, I'm not a smoker!!

And don't worry, I'd still visit even if you were hangin' on a telephone wire! :)

Carrie

Kristin said...

Hmmm...having never been to Seattle, I'm not really laying claim to knowing their smoking policies... but Memphis is a Welcome, care for a light? kind of town!

Amy said...

Grew up in Memphis...family is still there...glad you enjoyed your trip.

Anon but not mean said...

You're back! Yea!

J.D. said...

It would've been cool to see you in Memphis while you were here, but no worries. My wife and I were out that Saturday night partying our asses off, so it's all good. I actually kept an eye out for you because we were on Beale Street all Saturday night but never saw ya. (We were rockin' out at the New Daisy, where rock still rolls.)

Glad you loved our fair city, and come back soon!

Oh, and give your haters a big F you from me too.

--J.D.

Walkin' in Memphis...walkin' with my feet ten feet off of Beale... walkin' in Memphis...but do I really feel the way I feel?...

Kevin Charnas said...

Amy Winehouse's voice and "You Know I'm No Good" makes me want to remove my pants.

Mauro C. said...

Hi there,

I would like to invite you, and your readers, to be part of my challenge.

I'm trying to post 1 Million Love Messages From All Around The World in my blog.

I hope that you can help to promote this challenge... and, of course, i'll be waiting for your message :)

Best Regards From Portugal

Chaos Control said...

Horrible Californians? Wait a minute ... I resemble that ...

Kristin said...

Don't worry Chaos Control, I'm a horrible Californian myself... ;-)

Sandra said...

I have missed you! Good to read you again you flithy liar :)

Jennifer said...

We stayed at the peabody in Orlando and I would have to agree the ducks are totally annoying.

I have many places that I want to go and memphis is one. C on the other hand has no desire since he has been there for work.

I will stalk you until I see where you post!

rubyiscoming said...

good to have you back, my friend. My BFF worked for the Peabody as the Dir of Marketing for a couple years - yup, it was her job to wrangle the ducks in position daily. A job where "all other duties as assigned" includes cleaning up duck poop. Ah, the glamour!

jennie said...

I love Memphis too, it is such a great city. I loved everything about it. Glad you're posting - wherever.