Hot damn people... small wonder I like you, the Internets, better than the real people because, HELLO - everyone out there is in a bad fucking mood.
Except for the folks at South Coast Medical ER... they are in lovely moods and managed to talk me off a cliff when I came screeching in there yesterday at 11 am following Jack's forehead meeting the corner of the games cabinet. Can you say, "puncture wound"? How about, "Holy shit, head wounds bleed a lot!"?
*here is where I was going to insert a still from the movie, Carrie, but just looking at those images seemed really un-Christmas-y.
I can say, "Hooray for Derma-Bond!"
how is it possible that an injury so very tiny could bleed so FUCKING much?Right in the middle of his face... at one point I said to the attending doctor, "Listen, don't think my priorities are out of whack here, but do you see how cute this kid is? Look at him. I don't want some messed up lumpy scar in the middle of his forehead, ok?"
I was sort of half kidding, but you know, not really.
The doctor was not amused.
He also wasn't amused later when I asked if I could take some Derma-Bond home with me, either... god, that I was joking about.
And last night, Hugh said to me, now, don't go nosing around because your present is in here...well, why not just say to me, "Open Season on the Bedroom cupboards!"? Cause I am totally looking...
And I see it.
In shiny green paper. Paper that we don't have in this house so I cannot open and take a peek because there is no shiny green paper to re-wrap the evidence of my tampering.
Because Hugh is very clever and he knows my evil ways.
But, I decided to take a peek and it is on a veryhighshelf and maybe it sortoffelloffandhitmeonthehead which is really karma's way of telling me, "Don't look, ass!"
Don't you think that is what karma is saying? When your very own Christmas present falls and hits you on the head and maybe you have a bump from it, that maybe you are not supposed to peek.
Happy Holidays everyone, may your presents not attack you and may you stay clear of the ER.