We're Back

Unfortunately, the family was eaten by an octopus...

Catalina couldn't have been any better.... we went with friends, and took a couple of lovely condos in Hamilton Cove (for the record, there were 82 steps up to our condo... 82!) for the long weekend and between much eating of turkey and drinking of Bellinis, there was shopping and golf and "inner island tours" complete with bison sighting.

On the inner island tour, the children opted to sit together which left us, the old adults, sitting on the long bench seat in the back of the bus... you know, where the cool kids sit? We liked our seats... we had a nice view and could swear without fear of the kids hearing us say things like, "One more fucking bump and I am going to fucking throw up."

Now, I don't know about you, but where I come from, the seats you have on the way to someplace, are the seats you automatically have on your way back from that same place. So, imagine our surprise when we reboarded the bus after our little stretch and photo-op at the Airport in the Sky, to see 2 little girls, both clearly under the age of 7, sitting in 2 of our 4 seats.

Tori and Dave are Scottish and therefore it is genetically impossible for them to say things like, "Hey, kids, better go and join your parents." They very quietly took the seats across from said slacker mom and dad while Hugh and I joined the little snotters. Well, I am not from the UK, I am from the rude US of A and so I said to the mother, "Would you like to switch seats so you can sit with your kids?" and she said, "No, we're happy to not sit with them!" Um excuse me? So, I said, "Listen, if you don't want to sit with them, what makes you think we want to sit with them?" and all she did was giggle! I wanted to smack her right down the Isthmus! 5 seconds into the ride, the kids started acting up and I sent the older one up to switch places with her Dad... and then, when he glared at me as he sat down, I just giggled.

There was the requiste "odd but sweet encounter with people who spill their life stories" because that is what people do when I am around... do you want to hear about the woman whose mother died and left her 3 pieces of jewelry but her siblings 14 million dollars? Or, would you prefer to hear about the sherriff who pulled over to tell us that I was the most important person in our family?

Jack's space retainer broke and, because Catalina, though a mere 26 miles from Dana Point, is 50 years behind the times and upon disembarking from the ferry one enters the Twilight Zone of medical facilities where there are no dentists on call, Hugh ended up clipping off the remaining end with a new pair of fingernail clippers and filing the rough edge down with an emery board...

He's not a dentist, he just plays one on Catalina...
(Don't worry, we gave Jack vodka a coke to kill any germs...)

Once I get You Tube to cooperate, I can show you all the future of golf... one hint, she is tiny and cheats.