The Children - An Update

Remember how Monday's word of the day was vagina? Well, yesterday, it was poop and today it is dentist. As in what color is that car, Eva? It's poop blue! It's dentist red! It's a vagina sandwich! Life with a 2 year old, oh excuse me, a 3 in December-old, is stranger than I remembered. Perhaps it is because Jake and Jack are so close in age that much of their toddler years were spent in survival-mode... Anyhoo, lately, Eva has taken to dressing herself and you have no idea what an act of fortitude it is for me to not force her to change out of the rather costume-y ensembles she assembles. Painful. But, my girlfriend, Cherry, has expressly forbidden me to tamper with Eva's fashion sense and if that means that wearing red clogs with black gauchos and a gray and pink sweatshirt, well then I just have to bite the bullet, close my eyes and think of Olie Bollen.

Confused, after I have dressed her, as to why all her clothes match...

Smug, after she has dressed herself... because NOW she looks good, suck-ah!

Jack has blossomed into a ladies man... Perhaps it is because, when asked during "polite conversation" time, what his hobbies are, he answered, "Attempting Origami." That's the secret men... women cannot resist the ancient art of paper folding.

Cotillion Barbie asked him to dance... apparently, in 3rd grade, short men have got it going on.

And Jake, my Sponge-Jake, Square-Pants child, has gone all surfer-grom on me and I am forced to try and make intelligent conversation about wave height, particular breaks, and tricks. It reminds me of dating... you know, when you pretend to be interested in what your date is saying? To be polite. No! That's a lie! I am fascinated by these conversations and YES, I do so want to watch, Riding Giants again... oh, yes I do.

Jake, with his Uncle John on the left and Hugh behind him... Dude, it was EPIC!
(Epic! Lord, help me.)

My kids are growing up. Faster than I ever thought possible. How can girls like my 8 year old? How can my first born be capable of swimming out in the ocean, and throwing his body down walls of water? How can my small daughter have an opinion on clothing? I am so proud of them and the people they are, but, selfishly, I am a little sad and when I think that Jake is going to be 10... and when I think of how fast these 10 years have flown by, and when I think that these next 10 will be just as fast, and then he'll be 20, well, it is all I can do not to take a Xanax and spend the day lying in a dark room with a cool rag on my head. And a vodka at my side.

I miss my babies.

But, when I look at them... at how confident Eva is that she is rockin' the skull shirt and tutu, how gracious and charming Jack is to all the girls at Cotillion, and how Jake's courage explodes out on the water... well, I think that watching them grow up is God's greatest gift to me.