Sunday, June 04, 2006

High School Musical... Or, The Music Most Likely To Be Playing When I Drive My Car Into A Tree...

This post isn't really about High School Musical... it's just that I am hearing the soundtrack blare out of my kids' room (thanks a lot iTunes) for the frillionth time this week. Parents, hear me: do not encourage the kid-friendly music... it will only lead you down the portal of hell otherwise known as Disney pop and a child who has a wicked crush on Vanessa Anne Hudgens.

Jake and Jack are products of appropriate and child friendly CDs. We had our Raffi, and our Sugar Beats, and our Chicken Soup for the Children's Soul music compilation. They didn't last long. What started out as an SUV with a 6 disc changer full of the above and others, quickly slipped into a 5-discs-for-the-boys-and-1 (2,3,4)-for-us. By Jack's second birthday all pretense was gone and the only kid-centric tunes heard 'round the house were those songs actually coming out of the boys' mouths.

But, those years were enough to make an impact, and, now, 6 years later, it's pretty much time to pay the fucking piper. We did in fact, have some piper music... I want to say it was lullabies, but then, I also want to hang my head in shame.

We thought we had caught it. We thought that at 2 and 3 they were young enough not to have been affected by the perky and the jolly and the SMART! We thought that, with enough repetition of The Cult and Lenny Kravitz and The English Beat, we could undo the harm of the happy song.

Wrong.

The playlists on their iPods read like Robert Igner's wet dream. Lindsay Lohan, check. Hillary Duff, check. Raven-Symone, check. High School Musical, bloody fucking check!

There is some Devo, some Eve's Plumb, and some Red Hot Chili Peppers mixed in with this create-a-star crowd, but really, the balance is swinging in favor of the company with the big ears.

And, so, parents, consider yourselves warned. Those bright and snappy little melodies your sweet babes so enjoy hearing in the back of the minivan? Those ditties about teeth brushing and peanut butter? Sing-a-longs with Laurie Berkner? They lead one place and one place only. They lead to painful numbers about teen angst and youthful identity crises in Alburqurque, NM. I can only hope that once real life hormones descend upon our household, a small grace will herald the arrival of Nirvana and The Cure (or whatever the nihilist folly is in fashion at the time).

I totally blame Baby Beluga.

***

In case you are wondering, we are trying to keep Eva on a strict diet of Gwen Stefani, The Dandy Warhols and the Kings of Leon... she thwarts us and every turn and opts to dance in her brothers' room.

31 comments:

Undercover Angel said...

I can't stand the music my oldest son listens to. He likes 50 Cent, Good Charlotte, and bands like that. The only music he listens to that I can bear to have on is Afroman and Eminem. I'm hoping his taste in music settles down a bit.

eastcoastermomma said...

LOL! We do listen to a lot of Raffi!

Tori said...

Love the new look! That Izzy is very talented indeed.
Know what you mean about the kids music choices...
High School Musical... that was soooo last week!
You need to get you head, get your head in the game!

Lisa said...

I had never heard of High School Musical until two weeks ago. And all of these little girls were raving about it. And now I'm seeing it everywhere!

Thanks for the warning!

Michelle said...

Ha! Try working in an enviornment with FORTY kids between the ages of five and twelve. I can sing every single lyric to High School Musical, as well as recite the words to the movie. I'm guessing I should be pretty used to it by the time our little one is old enough to subject us to it in our own car. What's with kids these days? Raffi is already too lame for my five year olds. At least I can still get them to listen to Jana Alayra. It IS a Catholic school after all!

P.S. is it just me that has to type in those friggin word verification letters like five times before my comment will post? I think I might be dyslexic of something!

Kel said...

I was just looking at that DVD tonight debating buying it, but was in a "damn kids are too spoiled" mood and did not purchase -

Apparently this was quite fortunate for my sanity!

And on a side note: DH has over 3,000 albums and we have exposed the kids to everything from the Sugar Cubes to Hendrix and Santana, etc. hoping that they can AT LEAST identify a variety of music even if we are subjected to Hilary Duff and that other uh, stuff -

and PPS - love the new look

mommy on the verge said...

Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea, you swim so wild, you swim so free...I STILL REMEMBER IT AFTER 6 YEARS mama!
I am tolerating Cheetah Girls right now, as long as my daughters don't start gyrating the hips like they do, I think I will be okay.

Kristin said...

u.a. - yes, we have some 50 cent, but it is all censored, so the whole song is full of blips and bleeps...

ecmomma and michelle- sorry!!

tor - you have suffered...no,no,no...stick with what you know!

lisa - lucky girl! i will be happy to send you our dvd!

kel - do you have a blog? i can get to your profile page, but that's the end of the line!

mom on the verge - damn that raven! & now baby beluga is stuck in my head...

J.D. said...

Gwen Stefani, Kris? And you expect her not to want other pop crap after listening to "Hollaback Girl" a hundred times? For shame.

Unfortunately, I believe that the friends at school are to blame for perpetuating bubble-gum pop. And Lindsay Lohan is nice to look at too, which doesn't help.

I would offer a method to inculcate a certain kind of music into a kid's mind, but I just remember how my parents tried to do that to me with country music, and it sure didn't take with me.

carrie said...

If I have to hear "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" (Green Day) one more time from my sons cd player, my ears will BLEED!!

Whose idea was it to let them listen to their "own" music anyway? Whoops!

Wanna know the worst part, so you don't feel so bad?

They like a little Kenny G for bedtime music!

There, I just threw myself under the bus.

Jenny said...

No! No! Say it ain't so. I plan on Hailey going straight from Laurie Berkner to Tori Amos...no stopping at Hilary Duff.

Jessi said...

My 4 and 6 year old are on a steady diet of Violent Femmes and Sleater-Kinney among others. I've never let them listen to kid music in the car -- I would go absolutely mad! I'm sure this will backfire on me at some point and they will end up being Fanilows.

Suburban Turmoil said...

I've got that problem going on here, too. I can't believe how popular High School Musical is- It sucks so bad! My ninth grader said even some of HER friends LOVE that movie! WTF.

Becky said...

oh man you warned me too late lol. when hannah's in the car its wiggles or the shrek 2 soundtrack. every single day!

ps love the new look!

Christina_the_wench said...

Good god, no AC/DC?? How do you LIVE?!?! And you said minivan. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Loving the new look you got while I was busting my ass landscaping this weekend.

Kristin said...

JD - Gwen, (like Social Distortion & Sugar Ray) is hometown girl made good!! We like all our OC people.

Carrie - Man, I forgot about Green Day... it's tricky because Green Day seems perfectly acceptable... AT FIRST!

Jenny - I'm sorry, if not Hillary, than Ashlee and her new lips.

J - Good Luck, sister!

Lucinda - I know, suckass. I want to pop that Troy character in the chops.

Becky - the Shrek 2 cd is pretty good! Shrek 1 is even better (Rufus Wainwright!)

Melissa said...

I never started that kid music for that exact reason. Maya at four is in love with Gwen Stefani, who I can't stand. But mostly she does like good music.

So, your kids like pop music, huh? I would blame it on Rafi if I were you. No actually it is Disney. It is played subliminaly during their shows. I am sure of this.

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

You are so funny, love how you write. Hope you have fun doing the blog.

Kevin Charnas said...

DAMN YOU BABY BELUGA AND YOUR WAYS!!! don't you tell ME to put my hands together and do the whole "make like a whale jumping through water" thing! WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO!!!

Hey, love the new look. And you? Now I know what you look like. Why didn't you tell me that you have such beautiful eyes? huh?

Stephanie A. said...

You're killing me. I just made a mixed CD last night of Laurie Berkner, They Might Be Giants, Dan Zanes, and Justin Roberts, among others.

Mom101 said...

Our biggest fear is that she'll like Country-Western like her grandma. I keep telling my mother she's a New York Jew but to no avail - the Willie Nelson keeps coming.

J.D. said...

I have decided when I have kids, they are going to listen to nothing but Jessica Sierra all day. And not just because she's been huggin' all over me and stuff.

P.S. Yes that's a shameless self-linking self-promoting link. I will now go and fling myself off of a very short building.

Mega Mom said...

Ha. My boys' favorite song has been "To Be Real" for as long as I can remember. I'm even sick of that now. Although they did enjoy Collective Soul's "Better Now" last summer. Their father is a music know-nothing, so I'm hoping for them to show me some good stuff one day. Proud to say I never owned a children's cd...though they do enjoy taking the Wiggles out of the library.

crouching mother hidden diva said...

Quit trying to be way cool people! I love High School Musical and I am like, so not afraid to admit it!

...and I'm totally crushing on the blond, maybe gay brother of the chick from that Zack & Cody show! He's sick!

InterstellarLass said...

Elle has been singing a Hillary Duff song lately. She doesn't have the CD though, so I don't know where she heard it. I personally, have tried to thrust some Lynnard Skynnard on both my kids.

Carrcakes said...

I love the new look, it's very you. It sounds like they all need headphones!!!

In hindsight my mom probably said the same things about my taste for Soul Asylum, Nirvana, and NKOTB.

Bonnie B said...

That was seriously funny. My daughter has been hounding me "to get in the game" and buy her the HIgh School Musical" soundtrack.
I just can't do it. My sanity has its limits, and its already had to V-Chip the mouse guy-- it's worse than Dora the Explorer doing a duet with Joe from Blues Clues.
I'm tired of shaking my sillies out. I want to find a black horse and a cherry tree.

Mrs. Chicky said...

I played a lot of Janis Joplin, Nina Simone, and Jack Johnson while I was pregnant. Do you think that's enough to counter-act the curse of Berkner?

Oh God, please tell me its not too late!

Mrs. T said...

Hey, Were All in THis Together...

I, too have the soundtrack in our 6 disc player in the minivan. My 5 year old sat down to dinner one night and announced "It feels right to be here with you."
Lucky for us, she also likes Al Green, John Mayer, The Pixies and sings along to Camper Von Beethoven's "Take the Skinheads Bowling."
I'm ok with them finally listening to real music, cuz if I had to listen to the Wiggles this much, I would stab myself in the eye with a fork.

Angry Dad said...

You have exquisite tastes in music, so despite the defacto kids music, I know for the rest of their lives they're going to have a very "sound" basis. Great choice with the English Beat too!!!

Occidental Girl said...

This post is so timely. I was just thinking about writing about how great Laurie Berkner's songs are, and was considering getting another of her cds. And then I got a song stuck in my head, and then another. And then my daughter sang one OVER AND OVER one day and I wanted to run away after the millionth time she sang it.

You're so right! Gwen and Madonna, pronto!