Thursday, October 28, 2010

In Which I Do Something Stupid...

So I've had these 2 funny toes for years and it's from arthritis (hello! I'm 100!) and they've gotten worse and shoes are all uncomfy and stuff and so the podiatrist told me that it's quite easy to fix... a little incision and little bone removal and a few days of discomfort and Voila!

Soooo easy.

Tuesday morning found me popping a Xanax and taking my funny little toes to the podiatrist where after 2 incredibly uncomfortable numbing shots and 40 minutes of God only knows what, I was finished and waddled out...

And all was right in the world until the numbness wore off and then HOLY FUCK it hurt. Also, CAN'T WALK.

So, um. Bad.

Yesterday, after a night which afforded me about 3 minutes of sleep, I called the doctor and asked for some heavy hitter pain killers because Darvocet is clearly for toddlers and a Vicodin script was called in and I was all HOORAY until I accidentally took 3 instead of 2 and found out, over the next 6 hours of continuous vomiting, that I am allergic to Vicodin.

So, um. More bad.

By the 8th dry heave of doom (into plastic grocery bags because I can't rush to the bathroom in time... up yours canvas market bags... can't puke into those, can I?) Hugh insists that we call someone... a doctor, my mother, my girlfriend, anyone, to tell us if this is normal and I opted for the doctor who called in yet another script, only this one for anti nausea medication... we squeaked into the pharmacy mere moments before it closed and by "we", I clearly mean, "Hugh", because let's not forget, I can't walk.

I can hobble.

But not that well.

And I opted for this. I chose this. I was all, 2 days of discomfort, no worries, but I honestly don't think I will be able to walk like a human (maybe an early human)... let alone drive anytime soon and this sucks ass... I am stuck on the couch trying not to eat or drink anything because I don't want to have to get up and early human my way to the bathroom...

It might be time for this:






10 comments:

LemonySarah said...

Oh, the word "discomfort". When a doctor tells me that I may feel "some discomfort" I now know that's code for "you will want to die".

Hope you're doing better, sweetie!

Kristin said...

Sarah - ha! Totally. I was a SUCKAH. I'm not longer nauseous which is a thumbs up, but still a neanderthal which is a thumbs down.

Jen on the Edge said...

@Sarah -- Ha! Unless it's a female doctor, then she'll be honest enough to tell me that I'll want to die.

Kristin -- Have you ever tried barfing in a big bowl? Much easier to manage and you don't actually have to hold it while you're barfing, which frees up your hands for holding back your hair.

Hang in there honey.

Single Mom in Subrubia said...

My mom had foot surgery once... and only once. All I remember is her lying on the couch in excruciating pain, wishing she were giving birth instead of what she was going through! Call if you need anything and feel better!!!

Los said...

I remember getting percocet after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, and I felt nauseous ... but for some reason, I didn't care.

gorillabuns said...

i do have to say after Moira puked in our mesh grocery bags at Target three months ago, they really aren't the way to go.

Percocet is the BOMB!

Kristin said...

Percocet... I shall make a note.

Shelley said...

Holy crap! Sounds like a fun week.

Man, that sucks. Let me know if you need anything, my dear. And since we can't seem to make it to lunch, perhaps I can bring lunch to you. : )

Anonymous said...

Take care of those sweet toes, Fast.

rachel's life. said...

ouch. i hope you get back up on your feet soon!!